Find Your Tribe

Belonging is a basic human need. We need to belong like we need water, shelter, and sustenance. You can survive without belonging to a community, but you cannot thrive. All cultures, religions, and worldviews affirm this. We must find our tribes and we must commit to engaging them thoughtfully and earnestly. 

Source: Simply Psychology

As a father, I have watched my children grow into two young adults within a world of false connections, fierce cowardice, and terrible meanness through social media, screens, and gaming. These town squares of digital connection that have replaced skinned knees on soccer fields have created terrible consequences within our youth, our adults, and our culture. 

We are experiencing an explosion of loneliness, isolation, mass shootings, and suicide in America. The FBI found an increase in active shooter incidents between 2000 and 2020. There were three such incidents in 2000; by 2020, that figure had increased to 40.

Both of the young adults that Kelly and I have released into the world were young children in the 2018 STEM Highlands Ranch school shooting. 

Suicide rates increased 36% between 2000-2018 and declined 5% between 2018-2020. Both of our children also experienced the impact of suicide after losing a dear family friend in 2018. 

These statistics are not abstract concepts in the Young house. Nor are their grotesque, lifelong consequences. 

Life has no silver bullets, though it’s enticing to think so. Authentic relationships won’t be the one factor that arrests the path to suicide or homicide, but isolation, loneliness, and false connections certainly won’t help.

Navigating the complexity of modernity and our enmeshment in the systems that are hurting us requires effort and sincerity. I’ve seen the power of authentic connections make huge improvements from veterans to abused children, old to young, black, white, Asian, Hispanic (or anyone under the sun). Authentic human connections and real relationships are the glue that binds us to reality. The tether that takes us out of the fabricated links of the digital world and pulls us back to an eternal, irreducible truth: we were made for connection. 

This year, our children put themselves out there in ways that are counter-culture to their generation. Our son joined the Active Duty US Army Infantry and our daughter joined the sorority, Alpha Chi Omega (ΑΧΩ). Institutions that have existed for hundreds of years offering connection and purpose (also basic human needs). We are proud of them both. I applaud their counter-culture courage in a world of comfortable cowardices. 

It is courageous to put yourself out there. It is courageous to join when we are encouraged to be followed. It is courageous to be real when we are baited to collect impressions. And it is courageous to be loved when we are told to settle for being liked. 

I am a proud father today. My children are not perfect and the world that we have handed them–frankly–sucks right now. I applaud them for their courage to find their tribe in a world encouraging them to hide behind their screens. I respect the hell out of them for fighting the cultural gravity and for walking in faith - imperfectly, yet in earnest.

Annual Letter 2022

Dear Friends, 

We are embarking on our fourth year at Applied Leadership Partners, which means it’s time to share our third annual letter! If you haven’t been following along thus far, you can check out our letters from 2020 and 2021, but here’s a very quick recap of where we’ve been and how it’s gone.

We launched our business in March of 2020 and within 2 days of our website going live, the world totally shut down, our first four gigs canceled, and we were left wondering if we’d ever even get off the ground. But since we couldn’t do much else during lockdown, we stuck with it and adopted the theme of “Respect the moment, be generous”. By the time summer was over we’d written a bunch, done a number of pro-bono (or deeply discounted) engagements and figured out how to teach, coach, and facilitate over Zoom. By the end of the year, we had some awesome partnerships in place, were doing meaningful work, making a few bucks - and decided to keep it going!

Leaning into 2021 with some momentum, we felt a little like the dog that caught the car - so we decided that our theme for the year was “Get in!”. It was a year of significant growth as our client base grew both wider and deeper. We were able to really clarify our offering and systemize our approach, which actually allowed us to provide even more customized solutions to the organizations that we served. At the end of our second year, it was clear that we had a real business on our hands. The work was making a serious impact, we were being challenged to stretch our abilities, and we were having a blast doing it. 

So going into 2022, we felt proud of ourselves and confident in our future, AND a little overwhelmed by the prospect of continued growth. Looking back, the year was a bit of a blur. Candidly, we failed to have an honest-to-goodness strategy session, though we committed to a theme from the onset: “Do. The. Work.” And while we did continue to refine our process and tighten up the business, we rarely stopped to take a breath and look up. We really would have liked to have written and shared more than we did in 2022, but we didn’t because we were totally swamped with creating and delivering programs for our clients - what we call a “high quality problem”. We wanted to get a book deal and hire a person or two and improve our marketing, but we just never quite had the gas to make any big moves. And while we did secure a literary agent, bring in a couple friends to help on a big project, and make some strides with our website and social media, there is still A LOT of meat on the bone.

All stated, the big headline was that our business is working and our lives are full! Our current clients have consistently invited us back and word-of-mouth has brought a number of new partners through the door. Our revenue increased by over 77% and though it was stressful at times, our little business has been getting nothing but green lights. Upon reflection, there’s a serious lesson here.

I used to have a basketball coach in 6th grade that would say, “when you run a play and it works, you run it again, and you keep running it until they stop you.” So simple, yet so profound. In a world where we all feel like we should be doing more and our business should be growing faster and everyone else is crushing it; it is important to pause, stand back, and assess the things that really matter. Continue to keep your purpose front and center, take stock of how far you have come, learn from all the ups and downs, and charge on with new insights. Sometimes you just need to keep doing what’s working and give it time. 

It may go without saying, but we are pumped about 2023! We’re approaching this year with enthusiasm and joy, and we hope it comes through (and we’re happy to share that our 2023 Strategy Session is on the books for early February - in Breckenridge…it won’t suck). Here’s a short list of some of the things that we are most excited about this year. 

Continue to deepen our relationships. We have a handful of clients that we’ve been with for over two years and we really feel like part of the team. We have loved being able to consistently engage with leaders and teams through a combination of training, coaching, and facilitation and we believe that everyone truly benefits from this model. The trust and confidence that these organizations put in us mean everything, and we’re pumped to keep moving down the trail with them.

Scaling up. The truth is, we spent much of 2022 on planes and in airports and while traveling and being face-to-face is how we prefer to spend time with people, we simply can’t be on the road 40 weeks a year. We already have a bunch of work booked for the first half (which is awesome) and we definitely want to work with new companies and teams. So we’re working on ways to deliver value in more scalable ways. That might look like a little more virtual engagement. It might involve adding some teammates. We’ve also built an amazing, 12-module, Leadership Development Program that is delivered through a series of short videos with an accompanying workbook. If you’re looking for a highly effective AND scalable way to bring leadership development to your enterprise, restaurant chain, or retail business, we’d love to talk with you about it, so drop us a line here.

Write and share more. We love to think deeply, converse openly, and share generously - and we need to be more intentional about it. In 2023, we will be more disciplined and consistent when it comes to our blog, social media, and book. There’s no shortage of ideas and insights at this point, we just need to focus on this aspect of our practice and make it happen. We really appreciate everybody that reads and shares our stuff. It feels awesome to know that we’re adding something to the conversation. We commit to doing it more seriously in the coming year. 

This past year, many organizations experienced the flip-side of COVID-19 and the incredible economic growth of 2021. In 2022 we saw businesses deal with significant financial pressures and the changes that naturally accompany such pressure. Our partners have navigated reductions in force, organizational realignments, shifts in strategic plans, and leader burnout.

To that point, some key topics on the horizon that we are already preparing for in 2023 include: 

• More consolidation and reorganization as companies experience financial pressure

• Sales force optimization and reinforcing the basics of business development

• Establishing clear priorities and focus

• Aligning (or re-aligning) teams to move forward after change

• Leading people through uncertainty and adversity

• Applying practical leadership and communication skills

To start wrapping things up, we want to take a few lines to thank and honor our families, who have been a bottomless source of support and inspiration for our work. They have put up with our travel schedules, encouraged us to press on, and thrown a flag when we need to chill out. Their love and wellbeing is why we do this and Applied Leadership Partners is nothing without them. 

The past year was one of many highs and plenty of lows. We’ve been tested at work and at home. We’ve said goodbye to loved ones and made some new friends along the way. By way of updates:

Brandon and Kelly are now empty-nesters, losing Elliot to the University of Colorado and Jaden to the US Army Infantry. This new arrangement has presented its fair share of both opportunities and difficulties, but the whole crew is doing great and figuring it out together!

Blayne and Jeni, on the other hand, are in the thick of raising three school-aged children and all that comes with it. It’s a life full of birthday parties and dance lessons and trips to the mountain bike park - fast, fun, and exhausting.  

Finally, we want to thank you. It is impossible to overstate how much the support and encouragement from our friends and colleagues means to us. Every time we get a thoughtful note or a generous introduction it reminds us of what it feels like to do work that matters. We wish all of you a very Happy New Year and we hope that you’ll find enthusiasm and joy in the year ahead. See you on the trail!

All our best,

Blayne and Brandon

The Harder Right - A Holiday Block Leave Story

Life tends to throw us curve balls when we need strikes. A child throwing up at 1:00 am on the morning of a big presentation, traffic blocking the road on the way to a concert, the dog shaking his ears in the middle of the night when you’re on call, and (of course) a canceled flight when you have to make it across the country by a specific time. With over 10,000 flights canceled during the 2022 holiday season and airport terminals lined with cots and dissatisfied customers, this last one is particularly raw for many of us. 

Like my son, Jaden, who experienced his first return to the US Army after holiday block leave.

Every holiday season, the US Army schedules block leave, shutting down training and sending all Soldiers home. I experienced this twice from Ft. Benning, GA (once during Basic Training and the following year during Ranger school). The Atlanta airport is a sea of camouflage-clad Soldiers directed by Drill Sergeants in brown campaign hats ensuring compliance, order, and politeness to fellow travelers. The US Army occupation of ATL occurs twice a year, at the beginning and at the end of this holiday block leave. 

Returning from block leave is challenging. It’s hard to say goodbye to family and friends after a few weeks in civilian clothes and a warm bed, eating home-cooked meals. Every Soldier wants to stay, but every Soldier must also make it back by their command prescribed hard time. Hard times are so non-negotiable in the Army that they are called, “drop-dead time(s)”. Jaden’s drop-dead time to get to ATL was 6:00 pm. This allowed for the 90 minutes transportation down to Ft. Benning in time for a 5:00 am post-block leave Physical Fitness Test the following morning. 

Welcome back to Benning, “the land that God forgot,” (where the mud is 18” deep; the sun is blazing hot - cue the cadence chorus)!

As a Soldier, you learn quickly not to violate hard times. That’s why we say things like, “if you’re not 15 minutes early, you’re 15 minutes late.” You learn that high on the list of cardinal sins for Soldiers is “missing movement” - not being with your unit when they move out to training or to deployment. You learn about “Murphy’s Law” - anything that can go wrong will go wrong! So you learn to prepare for the worst, and hope for the best. And you routinely begin to choose the needs of the mission over your personal comforts. 

And as a young Soldier returning from block leave, you learn to take the early flight back to your duty station instead of the afternoon flight that will land just in time if everything goes right. Because when Murphy strikes, you learn quickly that no one is responsible for solving the problem but you. So at 2:45 am, when Jaden and I were walking out the door and Delta Airlines canceled his 5:45 am flight and rebooked him on a 5:45 pm departure, “school was in session”.  

After a brief freakout moment, Kelly calmed the cussing kitchen, and Jaden and I worked the problem instead of adding to it. In short order, we found a bad, yet functional alternative. A 5:23 am flight to Salt Lake with an 8:00 am connector to DFW and a 12:00 pm connector to ATL making it in by 3:45 pm. 

Three flights and a full day in airports (ew!) instead of one direct flight and time to have a nice lunch in ATL. He rebooked, kissed mama goodbye, bolted to the airport, and notified his Battle Buddies in Colorado who were also in the same pickle. One Soldier became two, and Jaden and his mate drove on. All the way to Salt Lake where their connector broke down and they could not get to DFW. Murphy struck again! 

This is another key lesson for us all - learning when to ask for help. Jaden and his Battle Buddy asked and were rescued by a Delta gate agent and two passengers willing to take the later flight to allow them to hop the last direct flight between Salt Lake and ATL that would get them to GA on time. They arrived at 5:30 pm, hitting their hard time and accomplishing their mission. 

And while this all may seem trivial in the grand scheme of life, I’m here to tell you it’s not. 

Jaden and his Battle Buddy chose the harder right over the easier wrong. They had the “out” they needed. They could have crawled back into their comfortable beds, slept for another four hours, and eaten brunch in their jammies. They could have relaxed for the day and grabbed Chick-Fil-A on the way to the airport. They could have blamed Delta for their circumstances with a documented excuse in hand and taken a few lumps from the Drills on the back end. 

But they didn’t. 

They took responsibility, kept the mission in focus, and adapted to meet the objective. They shouldered the discomfort and solved a problem they did not create because their mission demanded it so. 

And when they got to ATL there was no fanfare, no applause, and no Drill Sergeant cheering for them saying, “good job for not crawling back into bed!” No. Not at all. They had just enough time to deplane, grab a bag of chow and get into a line for the buses headed to Benning. They hurried up and waited like good Soldiers do because good Soldiers don't miss movement. Good Soldiers reject their comforts and accomplish their missions because that is what the Army demands of them. The Army doesn’t care if an obstacle gets in your way because the enemies of our country don’t care. Full stop. 

And while they did not receive fanfare for making it on time, they have earned my respect and appreciation. It’s moments like this that an old Soldier like me can smile and know that we are in good hands. It’s moments like these that I beam with pride in my son, whom I love.

Sometimes, the options are all bad and you have to be willing to take the pain to accomplish the mission. 

“Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to fight on to the Ranger objective and complete the mission though I be the lone survivor.” 

Rangers Lead The Way! 

Brandon

Cover Photo: 11 Alive

Does "Family" Belong in Organizational Language?

“Family” gets thrown around a lot in organizations. Leaders have asked, “how can we use ‘family’ in our team culture, yet still maintain accountability to our mission?” In a word: thoughtfully. 

Our organizations can be places where people belong and thrive. Our teams can be families. I think this is critical in a time when so many Americans come from disrupted homes. I personally experienced that in the Rangers (as did many of my Ranger buddies). I came from a broken home; we did the best we could given the circumstances and I love my mother and siblings for that. 

When I arrived at the 2nd Ranger Battalion, my platoon became my family. The expectations were high, and the accountability was even higher. Rangers would get kicked out if they failed to meet the Ranger standards, which made us question at times how much of a “family” we actually were. Hell, I almost got kicked out as a young Ranger! But many good men left the “family” and were still loved. I left the 75th Ranger Regiment over 15 years ago. I never left the Ranger family. 

If we are being honest, don’t we all have struggles within our families? I mean…is any family free of challenges?  

“Family” does not imply perfection, it implies intention. 

“Family” means showing up - imperfect, yet in earnest. 

“Family” means picking up the phone when called upon, and knowing that someone will pick up the phone when it’s MY turn to call. “Family” means, “I will never leave a fallen comrade,” and so much more. “Family” means “no greater love (John 15:13)”. “Family” means YOU BELONG. Regardless of our differences. 

Nothing in this world is perfect. If your usage of “family” in organizational culture is driven by care for people and the extension of belonging, then it stands to reason that “family” belongs because we all need to know that we belong - regardless of our imperfections, our issues, or our differences. We need to know we can err, learn, and grow. We need to know that we can part ways–when it’s necessary–and still love one another all the same, retaining hope for reconnection and return in the future. We need to know that when we are a part of the family, it’s a promise that is not mutually exclusive from accountability.

We need more family. 

Be a family. Do life together. Give a damn about one another’s lives and give grace whenever possible. And know this: if your family or your “family” are imperfect, well that just makes you normal! 

Cover Photo: 198th Infantry Training Brigade.

Useful is Better Than Brilliant

Before we hit the GO-button on anything (presentation, speech, workshop, or even a blog post), we get nervous. And I'm good with it. I want a career and a life that makes me feel nervous on a regular basis. The nerves remind me that I'm alive, and that I give a shit. I'm not hoping that they go away, yet still, they must me managed.

This is where having a partner comes in handy. We have the ability to offer each other perspective and encouragement before we step into the arena together. And after years of doing this, we've gotten pretty good at knowing what the other needs to show up and bring his best. There are a few key phrases that we almost always come back to - and they are all about shifting the focus off of us and onto our audience. We say things like:

"What do these people need to hear right now?"
"Resist the urge to be profound."
"Just tell the truth."

and my all-time favorite...

"We'd rather be useful than brilliant"

It's not exactly the stuff you see in Hollywood locker room scenes, but it works, and here's why.

1) It reminds us that we are there to serve. Our job is not to be applauded or validated, it is to provide valuable and applicable insight to leaders and teams that need our guidance.

2) It reminds us that we have everything we need. We don't need to reach for the perfect metaphor or catchy phrase. We've done the work. We know what we're talking about.

3) It reminds us to be US. Audiences find trust at the intersection of credibility and relatability. We're both credible and relatable, without trying too hard. They don't need us to be clever or cute (or the most decorated Special Operators on the planet). They just need us to be sincere.

This quote from C.S. Lewis is one that we live by at Applied Leadership Partners. It gives us permission to be patient, to be humble, to chop the wood and trust the process. If you're starting a new business, new to a big role, or launching a creative project - I think it will help you too.

Earning a Title vs. Doing the Job

There's a big difference between passing the test and doing the job. 

I remember watching the Green Berets going into Afghanistan in the weeks after 9/11 and wishing so badly that I could be there with them...and not in the motor pool. As a 2LT, I pestered the SF recruiters about submitting my packet. They were nice, but basically said, "slow down skippy, you've still got some work to do." They were right. 

As a Scout PL in Baghdad, I had the privilege of working with some studs from 5th SFG, and the deal was sealed. If I was ever going back to war, I wanted to do it with these guys. 

A few weeks after getting home from Iraq, I went off to SF Selection and Assessment. While there, I felt something in me shift. At a point, my burning competitive desire to "pass the test" gave way to something bigger. I no longer wanted to get selected for the Q-Course, I NEEDED to be a Green Beret. 

One early morning while we were waiting for the chow hall to open up - tired, sore, and dreading another day's worth of abuse, we were told to "MAKE WAY!" by an instructor. We all moved over so that a group of truly haggard looking students could go to the front of the line. They were recently "liberated" SERE school grads, and I remember thinking "Damn, those dudes look wrecked." Then I thought, "Shit, I'm wrecked and if I think they're in rough shape, that course must be brutal."

It was in that moment I realized that the completion of every training evolution is just a new starting line. I realized that difficult courses weren't about accomplishment, but preparation. In the years since, I've told every aspiring Green Beret that the key to passing Selection is simple - understand the work of an SF solider and if you NEED to do that work, you'll be fine. If you're looking to prove something to yourself or others, or if you just love a good challenge, you're probably wasting your time. 

Same could be said for most of life's important decisions. Whether you want to be an entrepreneur or a CEO or even a parent, earning the title is the easy part. Doing the job is the real work. 

Expectations: Individual Perspectives and Team Commitments

Expectations matter. We all have them, and typically we don’t know we have them until they go unmet. Kelly and I learned that lesson by serving within a marriage ministry at our church called Reengage for three years. It’s a funny thing to see couples who have been together for decades still enter into situations with unstated expectations; we certainly still do after over twenty years of marriage. If we have expectations with our life partners even after decades together, it’s not so surprising for us to have expectations within our teams that are often just coming together! 

People have expectations; this is normal. For the most part, our expectations are just the natural extension of our experiences. And the tricky thing about experiences is that they are so uniquely individual. We may understand someone’s circumstances, and may have even shared those circumstances, but still know very little about their actual experience because the same conditions do not equal the same experiences. 

In my life, this has been true in marriage, in war, and in business. I experience this with my family, my friends, and my colleagues. Instead of maligning our differences in expectations, it’s best to seek to understand them. 

As a young sales director, I did not understand, nor did I seek to understand the value of divergent expectations. I was on the receiving end of a $7B organizational restructure that took my four state specialized region, and shrunk it to a half state generalized district. Our company, AmeriPath was a conglomerate of high-end laboratories that focused on cancer diagnostics, doing really advanced esoteric testing buoyed by luminary doctors.  

We were small, nimble, specialized, and really good; a gem of a boutique patchwork of labs. 

Photo Credit: @deepmind via Unsplash.

Such a gem, that the company had been purchased by the largest lab in the world because they were tired of losing business to us. This all happened a year before I left the Army and was hired as a young sales rep. I remember in my interview one of the execs who was a Special Forces veteran saying, “we are analogous to what the Rangers are to the Army; we are a part of the larger organization, but we function very differently.” I was sold - please pick me!  

I started the next month and for the most part, our company was allowed to operate the way it had for all those years we were taking business from the big lab. Frankly, there were still territories that just kept right on taking business from said big lab…our parent company lab. 

And even though my Company AMEX said, “Quest Diagnostics”, for the next four years I would go about my AmeriPath business without much interaction with the mother ship. Honestly, it didn’t register much for me. We were just another American company acquired by a larger American company and left to do what we did that got us noticed and purchased in the first place (for $2B might I add)! 

Unbeknownst to me, business people far smarter than I were looking into the profitability and sustainability of leaving us to our operating norms. And the way we were functioning was neither profitable, nor sustainable. It had to change. And change is emotional for all parties involved because our brains seek certainty. Any disruption of the norm causes a visceral reaction from most people. 

The five year honeymoon ended in 2013, when Quest determined that consolidation and reorganization was in the best interests of the organization - and it truly was. The sales forces, marketing departments, operations teams, and medical professionals from the patchwork of laboratory acquisitions crammed into the Gaylord Opryland to be united under one banner. 

Photo Credit: @productschool via Unsplash.

Everyone had their own feelings about it - the field teams were (for the most part) not pleased. A certain mistrust, and at times animosity had grown between the big lab and the boutique labs. We operated differently, we talked differently, we were compensated differently, and in some territories had competed against one another. And yet, we all worked at the same company. Our paychecks came from the same source, our 401k’s were in the same pool, our supplies came from the same distributors, and our CEO was the same man! 

But the same conditions do not equal the same experiences. We all experienced acquisitions at a different rate. The differentiation within our day to day operations created different experiences.

Our values and dispositions created different experiences of the same conditions. The boutique labs were composed of highly expeditionary types (like me), who were comfortable operating in ambiguity. Many of us were former military and didn’t know any different! But the larger lab hired mostly medical sales professionals who had cut their teeth in more traditional sales roles with big pharmaceutical companies. 

Our jobs created different experiences of the same conditions. Our boutique lab served patients who were eagerly awaiting the results of their tests to know whether or not they had cancer. Our big lab patients were having routine blood work done to check levels. The speed at which we functioned was very different for both. 

And our life experiences created different experiences of the same conditions. I had been a Ranger for nearly a decade; the big Army was very foreign to me. Hearing that I was about to be assimilated into the big lab felt a lot like I was having my black beret taken from me again! And to be fair, our colleagues from the big lab often felt jilted by the fact that many of us had been hired right out the military into higher paying, more specialized positions when they had paid their dues in the traditional medical sales industry. They had done their time in pharmaceuticals and copier sales. Most of us hadn’t.  

Though we operated under the banner of the same company that had conducted the same acquisitions - we were not the same. And we had different expectations of what the future under the same roof would look like because our expectations are just a natural extension of our experiences. 

And while all of that is valid, our leadership made every effort to align the thousands of disparate expectations through one unifying purpose - the care of our patients. Our patients were often the same people being served with our services at different stops on the diagnostic spectrum. We were doing them a disservice if we remained the way it had always been.

A 1950’s histology lab, tissue samples are prepped for cancer diagnostics. Photo Credit: @NationalCancerInstitute via Unsplash

The world had moved on, and we owed it to our patients and the thousands of physicians serving them to move on with them. 

It took a lot of effort and a lot more grace, but when our team of teams came together, the one unifying factor–to care for our patients’ needs–became the aligning force for the organization. It wasn’t rainbows and roses. And not everybody made it through the restructure. But everyone who committed to aligning around the vision to providing the best diagnostic insights to patients and care providers got through it, and learned a lot in the process. I know I certainly did. 

And I know I learned a lot about the value of respecting each member of the team’s individual experiences and expectations before attempting to align around a unified, collective expectation of what the future might hold. 

In today’s world of continuing mergers and acquisitions, organizational realignment, workforce reshuffling, and diversity, equity, and inclusion initiatives, we could all benefit from taking the time to honor others’ expectations before aligning them to the team’s expectations. Once we’ve done that, we’ve earned the opportunity to do what leadership requires of us - to get the wonderfully diverse people that we’re lucky enough to lead focused on what we share and what we hope to achieve together.

Cover Photo Credit: @truth via Unsplash

Leaders Need More Intelligence, Not More Information

We are all drowning in information, and that makes it very difficult to pick apart what is truly important vs. what is merely interesting. 

If a leader’s first job is to see the world as it truly is, then we should be thoughtful about the type, volume, and source of the information that we are consuming. Whether we’re conscious of it or not, the information we absorb will shape the way we see the world, and if we’re not careful, it can lead us astray. 

Information can tell us almost anything we want. It doesn’t take much for us to find (or be fed) information that confirms something that we want to see, or denies something that we don’t. 

What we really need is intelligence. 

Intelligence is something that helps us to make timely decisions and take appropriate action. We can do that because intelligence isn’t just the raw inputs of information, it is the output of a deliberate process of analysis and corroboration. Without intelligence, we can easily fall prey to the biases, quick conclusions, and poor decisions that result from examining information in a vacuum. As with so many of our leadership lessons, we learned this the hard way during our time in Special Operations.

One night in Afghanistan my section and I were out on a patrol when an ISR plane came on station high in the sky above us to relay critical information. ISR stands for Intelligence, Surveillance, and Reconnaissance - critical assets to any combat leader on the battlefield and any business leader in the boardroom. 

As the mission went on, our eye in the sky notified us of some heat signatures on the ground in our immediate area, putting us on high alert. This was less than 2 years after Operation Anaconda went down, so the advent of cave and hidey hole warfare was a clear and present possibility. By this time we had already seen plenty of little nooks and crannies and enough rockets, mortars, RPG’s, and roadside bombs to take any report seriously. 

“A sample image recorded from the FLIR thermal camera at an approximate altitude of 70 m. Two humans are pointed out.” Credit: Researchgate.

With our Air Force Tactical Air Controller, Charlie, on the mic with the aircraft, and me in relay with my team on the ground and my higher command, we began the process of gathering intelligence to form a clear picture. Clarity comes from gaining a picture of the whole truth, a common operating picture that combines what everyone is seeing from their unique vantage points. We were close enough to the heat signature on the ground for it to matter, but too far to know why. We needed to confirm or deny a threat. 

Splitting my section into support (stationary) and maneuver (close up) teams was required to get the ground truth of the matter. This is where things get complex quickly. Splitting your element when there is an unknown, potential enemy position on the battlefield can be catastrophic if something goes wrong. And the potential for something to go wrong can happen to any team on the battlefield, regardless of how well you operate. 

We began to close in on the mysterious heat signature while radio communications evolved between various elements: the ISR plane above, our command at the fire base, my support element around me, and our maneuver team on the move. We were ready for a fight. We just needed to fix the location of our enemy. And I needed to hold tension between all elements in the process to gain the intelligence necessary to act. 

In moments like this, everyone wants to know what’s going on. Immediately. 

My chest tightened, maintaining a cool voice while working with Charlie speaking to a bird 30,000 feet above, me speaking to command 30 kilometers away, our maneuver team 300 meters away, and my support team spread across 30 meters in overwatch. Everyone wants more information from their position, everyone needs good intelligence to do their jobs. Everyone needs to trust each other in the process. 

From the sky, the two heat signatures (ours and the mystery spot) look like semi-distinctive reddish blobs separated by three finger lengths of cool black space on a screen. From the ground, that black space looks like 600 meters of sharp, mountainous terrain with shale covered climbs and brush filled descents. From the command hooch back at the firebase, leaders listen intently and piece together the picture from the quality of our descriptions and their collection of maps and satellite photos. 

From behind our sights, it all looks like opportunity, all we need is confirmation of the enemy to act. Imaginations run wild in moments like these…have we stumbled upon the next Tora Bora? Have we found the bastards that shot an MH-53 out of the sky just a week prior? Have we come upon an Al-Qaeda OP (observation post)? Perhaps we’ve fixed the position of rocket man, or a roadside bomber? 

A Co. 2/75 Ranger Regiment Training in Yakima Firing Center, WA. Photo Credit: Army Times.

We wait. The maneuver element sends short and strained radio reports. The boys are working hard. The terrain is brutal.  

Closing the distance between information and intelligence costs our maneuver team more and takes much longer than our comrades waiting eagerly 30km or 30k’ away want it to take. It costs effort. And it takes time, pain, and toil. Men in peak physical condition must push their limits to pay the price of gathering intelligence. 

We lose sight of the maneuver team over the hill; every minute that goes by adds a pound of anxiety on our chests. Charlie and I buy us some time over the radios as the aircraft and command post grow more impatient by the moment. Everybody wants to kill the enemy. In moments like these, it feels like the entire task force is listening. Eagerly pressing you to do something. Anxiously pushing you to act now on the information at hand before we lose the chance.

When we are leading teams doing things that matter in the world, the stakes are always high. As leaders, we must always remember that information comes quick and easy, but intelligence takes time and effort. 

We wait. Trusting in the effort and hopeful of the outcome. 

Finally, “Dry hole!” is announced across the radio from the maneuver team. 

“Roger. Dry hole,” I reply. An audible sigh comes in unison from our support position. I can practically hear the boys’ rolling their eyes and I hope they cannot hear me rolling mine. 

“Clover leaf the position and confirm,” I continue. “Charlie, let the bird know we got nothing.” I report back to command and wait as our team conducts a detailed investigation. 

The voice of the maneuver leader, Justin, remains calm, though his body is undoubtedly drenched in sweat and his heart rate is spiked. 

The next few minutes are highlighted by tense exchanges between us and the bird, while I talk to command. Everyone who has information advocates from their perspective. 

Convinced that they see something we do not, the crew in the bird is insistent. Charlie is patient, the boys and I are irritated. 

“There’s nothing here,” Justin reports. 

“Copy. Are you certain?”

“Yes. Over.” I trust this man with my life. I always have. And I trust his eyes - what he sees on the ground. 

“Copy. Come on back. Over.”

We do a final report to the bird. 

The detour has cost us time, but the effort is worth the intelligence gained to guide our actions. Charlie is trying to wave off the insistent bird, which proves to be more difficult than expected. My irritation turns to sarcasm as I invite the ISR crew to grab a parachute and come take a look for themselves if they like. They decline the invitation and fly on.

Another night chasing ghosts in the mountains continues. 

Photo Credit: @danielcgold via Unsplash.

Some nights end up differently, most nights do not. This night left a lasting impression on me because I was the man on the mic. I was the leader in charge, responsible for everything that happened on the ground. And I was responsible for acting upon the information presented to me from the ISR bird, the command, and my Rangers. As leaders, we are often pulled in many different directions and we are often confronted with conflicting information. 

We must take the time and effort to make sense of the details to form a clear, actionable picture. 

A leader’s first job is to see the world as it truly is, not as we want it to be. In order to see the world as it is, we must take the information available and deal with it appropriately in order to uncover actionable intelligence to operate from. Because we as leaders need more intelligence, not more information.  

Here are a few thoughts to consider when trying to gather intelligence from information:

• Facts vs. Fables: Our emotions can cloud our minds and lead to negative or false interpretations. Negative interpretations lead to flawed judgment and actions that may lead to ineffectiveness. We may imagine the mongol horde in front of us, but it may be a field mouse. 

Calm yourself and let the situation develop before acting upon your imagination. 

• Corroboration vs. Contradiction: If we want information to become actionable intelligence, we have to evaluate the data at hand, confirm (or deny) its significance, and formulate a wise approach. It is very plausible that upon your investigation, the information at hand will contradict the information initially presented. This doesn’t mean there are two versions of the truth, just two perspectives and the information might not be relevant to your needs. 

Interrogate the information at hand and seek to corroborate its significance before you take action.  

• Interesting vs. Important: Lots of pieces of information are interesting, but not a lot is important when you have a job to do. Take in all that you can and filter out what doesn’t lead to increased effectiveness. 

If you can apply it to your mission and it helps your team be more effective it’s important, otherwise it’s interesting and can become a distraction. If it’s a dry hole, leave it behind and move on. 

Cover Photo: @pawelj via Unsplash.

There Are Two "I's" in Motivation

I’d love to be able to say that I was one of the people who left the Army as a top performer and immediately found myself at the top of my new profession (sales), but I was not. Two years running I watched colleagues collect hardware and hard cash at the National Sales Meeting while sulking in my chocolate cake from the audience.

When I left the Army, I felt like I lost my identity. I lost my profession, I lost my rank, I lost my community, and I just about lost my family. It was devastating and led to a loss I had never experienced amidst all of the hardship in my life to that point - a loss of motivation. 

In the Army of the late ‘90’s, when a Soldier withdrew from a course or asked to leave a Special Operations Unit, we called it quitting. Then, sometime in the early 2000’s, the term quitting was replaced with the phrase lack of motivation, or LOM. So instead of saying, “roster number 128 quit”, we’d say, “roster number 128 LOM’ed.” I didn’t love it at first. It felt like some politically correct (PC) invasion of the Army. But over the years, I’ve come to realize that LOM is right because it is actually a better description for withdrawing, or failing to muster the effort required to achieve the goal. 

I never LOM’ed in the Army. I learned how to quit in the real world. And in the process I learned that motivation is the fulcrum between inspiration and effort that must be owned internally if we intend on achieving our goals. Because here’s the thing: 

We can have inspiration without motivation; and we can have motivation without effort. We cannot achieve our goals without inspiration, motivation, and effort. 

Still of Demi Moore during the infamous “ring the bell” LOM scene from G.I. Jane, 1997, Hollywood Films.

This seems unclear today. Let’s dig in a little and see if we can make better sense of it.

We can have inspiration without motivation. Alex Honnold (free solo climber) inspires me, but I’m not motivated to free climb El Capitan…or anything for that matter. I’m not motivated because I cannot see myself within his vision of success. Which is totally fine - he’s not trying to motivate me to climb El Cap. Yet, I am inspired by the passion, commitment, and courage that's required for him to do what he does. Inspiration is a spark, even a catalyst, but it cannot sustain us.  

We can have motivation without effort. I saw thousands of young Ranger hopefuls attend the assessment and selection program. Each man was inspired to serve our country; each man was motivated to be a Ranger. But at least 50% of those men in each class were either unwilling or unable to translate that motivation into the effort required to be a Ranger. I don’t fault them for that at all. Rangering isn’t for everyone. 

We cannot achieve our goals without an appropriate blend of inspiration, motivation, and effort. 

Sometimes our best isn’t good enough to achieve the goal. Oftentimes, our best efforts are yet to be found because our motivations are not properly aligned, regardless of our leaders' best efforts to directly inspire performance. 

In my first two years as a sales rep, inspiration wasn’t my problem, motivation and effort was. 

I was inspired to sell cancer diagnostics testing having lost my mother-in-law to cancer two days after Kelly and I married. My leadership directly inspired me with a clear vision and mission. And they attempted to motivate me with a clear role, goals, and financial rewards. They also supported me with hours of personal and professional development. 

But my problem with motivation was my problem. In team dynamics, providing inspiration is 100% the leader’s responsibility, but motivation is always a 50/50 proposition. Motivation is the middle point between the leader and the lead that must be broached mutually to produce results. 

Leaders are responsible for inspiring their teams by providing an aspirational vision of a better future. And they are responsible for motivating their people by showing them how and where they fit into that higher goal. But that is where the leader’s responsibility ends, and the individual’s begins.

Because a leader cannot force someone to be motivated.

A lot of leaders show up in an effort to motivate their people without teammate reciprocation. 

During those early sales years when I was at the bottom of the stack rankings our VP of Sales flew from New York to Atlanta where I picked her up and we drove 3 hours through the night to Birmingham for lunch with the state’s largest Gastroenterology practice. She was my bosses’, bosses’, boss at the time. She knew that I was on my last leg after getting my teeth kicked in for 18 months in Alabama. I suspect she also knew that we weren’t going to get any business out of this large practice, but that’s not why she came in the first place. 

She came for me. She showed up and she cared. Because that’s what leaders do. 

Photo Credit: @eugenetriguba via Unsplash.

Authentic leaders care for their people and care enough to discover what their people need when the typical approaches aren’t working. I knew my goal, and I understood my role in the vision. I even understood the rewards the company was offering for my performance. But it wasn’t enough. Truth be told, I wasn’t motivated by the bonus money available; I needed something else in my life, namely a team again. And even though I was capable of sales, I didn’t want to be a yucky salesman. 

My baggage was holding me back.

Over the long, rain soaked Alabama highways, Michele talked to me and didn’t try and sugar coat the situation. The expansion territory that I had been hired to operate was a bust. We all knew it. But they wanted to find a way to keep me on the team. I appreciated her honesty. I felt validated. But the territory wasn’t the only problem in the equation. 

I wanted to lead people again. I felt alone and unmotivated as an individual contributor and I would have rather been a manager of people instead of front line selling to customers. With kindness and candor, she looked at me and said, “you’re a great leader, and you could be a great sales leader, but you cannot lead a sales team until you learn how to hit your number - consistently.” Full stop.

I asked for transparency and truth. She gave it to me, but I needed to be willing to receive it. 

Leader transparency matters; employee willingness to trust is equally important. 

The path was clear. She could do no more in this situation. The choice to respond was mine alone. 

This is important to embracing the 50/50 reality of motivation. Leaders can try to motivate teammates with transparency and care, but followers must reciprocate with willingness and trust to produce the necessary effort. And make no mistake about this: effort is 100% on the part of the follower. 

Your effort is binary. You either do or you don’t. 

Regardless of which direction you choose, you chose it. 

Photo Credit: @kmagnuson via Unsplash.

Consistent application of smart efforts in pursuit of achieving goals is the responsibility of the teammate - effort, not activities. When I was that young sales rep I logged my calls, filed my reports, drove my miles, and had my meetings. It was a lot of activity, but it was neither the right frequency nor the right types of smart efforts to achieve the goal.

A few months after that ride-along with our VP, I was afforded the opportunity to relocate from Alabama to Colorado. My leadership opened the door, but I had to get my motivations right and walk through it. They had all done their part. It was up to me to do mine. 

And though most of my life I have fought to prove people wrong, I was motivated to prove Michele, Matt, Jason, Joe, Tara, and Babe right - about me, which I eventually did. By the time I hit the ground in Colorado I was on a mission. And I wasn’t going to let anything stop me from achieving my goals. I crushed my number the next two years and was promoted to Sales Director. I earned the chance to lead people in the corporate world and that was all the reward I truly wanted. 

And during my first National Sales Meeting as a Sales Director, I was standing at the front of the room, collecting my own hardware, and returning to my team to prepare for the year. 

Cover Photo Credit: @frankiefoto via Unsplash.

Discipline Is Not a Superpower

Discipline is not a superpower. Discipline is being who we say we are, and doing what we say we are going to do. It’s simple, and it’s hard, but discipline is not a superpower.

This seems to have become a mystery. I recently had someone say to me, “I wish I had the discipline that you do, but I just don’t.” I looked back at him with frustration and said, “discipline is not special or unique to me. I show up and I do the work. Even when I don’t want to and especially when it’s hard. And I miss the mark all the time, but I don’t let myself off the hook when I do...and I don’t give up!” Mystery solved. 

To be fair, discipline has become very complicated in a culture that tells us to do what feels good over what is good. We suggest that discipline is good, and that we must reclaim it for effectiveness in life and leadership.  

Discipline is saddled with a lot of baggage - and for good reason. Though discipline is both an action and an outcome, we often focus on the former rather than the latter because of the lasting impressions being disciplined leaves. But focusing on the process over the outcome in this sense makes it easy for us to shy away from some of the fruits of discipline such as restraint, consistency, courtesy, and respect. 

The very root for discipline in the Hebrew, yasar (יָסַר), or the Greek, paideia (παιδεία) relates to sharp instruction (of a child or follower) - training, chastening, admonishment, or correction. It’s not hard to see why we tend to look away from discipline. I mean, who wants to be corrected, chastened, or admonished? No one does. 

But who wants the results of that process? Who wants discipline that yields consistency, restraint, diligence, and excellence? Everybody. Every leader. Every team. And every company. Full stop. 

That is the truth, so we need to find a way to embrace discipline in a productive manner. The purpose of discipline has always been (and will always be) to produce virtue - desirable human qualities. We could all use more virtue today. We could all use values based leaders because discipline in practice is the commitment to consistently behave in accordance with our values. 

Discipline to our values offers us stability in ambiguity. Discipline to our values offers us resilience in times of trouble. It is discipline that invites us to shrink the world down into one little act of progress when the challenge is far too large to see any way out of at the beginning. If we are going to embrace discipline, we need to start by identifying our values. 

We often find that people don’t actually know what their values are, probably because we haven’t taken the time to contemplate and formulate them. This is where communities like the military and religion help greatly, because they’ve already sorted out their values. 

It’s not hard to see why integrity is one of Blayne’s core values. Afterall, from the age of 18 through 22 he passed by an Honor Code sign in front of Washington Hall at West Point that reads, “A cadet will not lie, cheat, or steal, or tolerate those who do.” Nor is it hard to discover why faith is one of my core values. Afterall, I am in seminary because of the word that says, “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5). 

Photo Credit: The United States Military Academy at Westpoint

Having a hard time identifying your values is normal. The good news is you don’t have to start at the blunt end of military training or be engaged in an organized religion to have them. Discipline can be developed at any time and identifying your core values is a great place to start because you can’t discipline your actions to your values if you don’t know what values you're aiming for in the first place. A simple exercise can be found on Brene Brown's website, to assist you. This is what we use with our partners. It’s clear, efficient, and applicable. 

Here’s another pro-tip for growing discipline: consider a task, project, behavior, or practice that’s been “hanging around” for a while, then ask yourself, “why haven’t I done this?” 

This simple exercise can help you determine your work, and why you’re having a hard time engaging in it really. 

I revisited this exercise last month because I just flat out do not want to be in grad school anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love my school, I love my program, I love my professors, and I love what God is doing inside of me through this process. I’m just 2 years in and I’m tired of studying, reading, writing, testing, etc. I am especially tired of Greek and especially after three semesters of Hebrew. 

But why? Why is my Greek so easy to push to the side of my desk when I know I need to do my work? 

It’s not because it’s hard (it is). It’s not because Koine Greek is a dead language (it is). It’s not because I love our work at ALPs so much that I’d rather do that then Greek (I would)! Though all of those are valid reasons, they are not the real reason. I avoid Greek because it exposes my weaknesses, I have gaps and those gaps make me feel insecure. Frankly, I don’t understand the grammatical comparables from Greek to English because I don’t understand English grammar. And that makes me feel dumb. 

In English, I can’t readily make sense of an adverb from an adjective without looking them up. In English, I don’t understand what a participle is from an infinitive, or (as a result) what a Greek word should sound like in English based on the verb form. I don’t understand noun case uses like nominative, genitive, accusative, and so on. So I stare at my work, dumbfounded. There is nothing in my brain for the Greek grammatical structures to latch on to, so my very patient and kind professor often has to teach me English…so that I can understand Greek! 

And I feel embarrassed. I wonder if I missed something very critical in English class throughout my youth. I wonder if we never covered these seemingly important grammar details in the California education system. I wonder if the multiple traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) I’ve sustained are impeding my ability to grasp the concepts. And I fear that I’m dumb and broken. So it’s easier to walk away and do something else that makes me feel smart and normal. 

Perhaps others can relate? 

Seth Godin calls this conundrum “The Dip”, in his book that’s subtitled, “A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick)”. Essentially, he notes that we all experience resistance in our efforts and have to choose if we are all in, or need to get out! Being a pretty “all in” guy by nature, I typically just ignore the first part of that statement, but I'm learning that there are a number of “things” that I just don’t need to be doing because they are not my highest and best use. Or because while they are certainly good work, they are not my work. 

But this Masters of Divinity that I am two thirds of the way into is my work. I know this. And the reason I know this is because of my faith and my commitment to faith as a value. I have faith that God has placed me at Denver Seminary and I know that facing obstacles, like Greek, are a critical part of my growth. 

I know that though I’ve been disciplined in the most extreme sense in the military, I am being disciplined in a different way in seminary. And that this discipline will develop deeper, stronger parts of me that are blossoming in incredible ways already. I have faith that this is true and I have evidence to that end. So even if it takes me longer than others, and even if I have to work twice as hard. Even if I have to raise my hand in class twice as much, and even if I have to ask Kelly to hold me accountable - I keep going. 

Because it’s my work to do. And because I have faith in experiencing the fruits of my labor. And because I have discipline. 

Yet another night in the books doing my work.

Discipline is simple, and it’s hard - say what you mean; do what you say. 

If discipline is a struggle for you, know that you’re not alone and know that discipline (by definition) is not to be done alone. And you can’t build it simply by doing what somebody else does. So, take some time to really think about your values. Then, talk to your spouse or partner, a friend, a mentor, a manager. Find an ally who is for you. And ask them to help you remain accountable to your intentions. 

The world is screaming for discipline. Today is the day to get started on or reinvigorate your commitment to your values because discipline is not a superpower. 

Cover Photo: @stillnes_in_motion via Unsplash.

What The Rangers Know About Purpose

“Build a fire...a big one. As high as my head and as hot as the sun,” I said coldly. 

“Roger, Sergeant!” The Army Private said, through chattering teeth. 

He had just pulled his gear over to the cadre shed, escaping the rain and the pain of the class formation. He was the first to quit that night; we knew he wouldn’t be the last. 

It was another sleeting, winter night in the Ft. Benning backwoods at Cole Range. Cole Range lies at the edge of Jamestown and Yankee roads; the intersection between hopes and dreams, and reality and suffering. Smarts, strength, and stamina are merely the price of admission at Cole Range, much more is required of everyone to make it through.  

The 200 man Ranger Indoctrination Program class (RIP; now known as Ranger Assessment and Selection Program, RASP) struggled to stand at the position of attention while the wind and rain racked their bodies. 

“It’s going to be a long night,” my partner said flatly. 

At 6’2”, 240 lbs. of pure muscle, Andy was fast, strong, smart, and terrifying. Our platoon sergeant Ed, who helped raise me in the 2nd Ranger Battalion, looked on with approval. He is much smaller in stature, yet larger than life in presence.

Being a Ranger isn’t for everyone. The saying goes, “Not for the Weak or Faint Hearted,” but even if you are strong and resolute, Rangering still is not for everyone. 

Cole Range - Still from 75th Ranger Regiment RASP 1 Video (link below).

Rangering is a 24/7, zero defect calling that requires everything of you. A life of Rangering is highlighted by violence, sacrifice, pain, brutality, and excellence - and that’s just the job. The lifestyle of a Ranger is one of character, determination, leadership, love, discipline, and a lifelong brotherhood. That’s what America expects from the U.S. Army’s premier large-scale special operations raid force. The assessment and selection process is an uncompromising commitment to finding those who possess the skill and the will to live that life at the tip of the spear. 

And if you’re not able or willing to be that person--to live that creed everyday--you are a threat to your fellow Rangers, to the mission, and to our country. Honestly, you’re a threat to yourself because no one’s a sorta Ranger in the 75th Ranger Regiment, it’s a “100% and then some'' proposition and it’s the RASP cadre’s job to ensure that message is clear.

We patiently wait as the fire gets going - close enough for the formation to see it, but far enough to prevent them from feeling the heat. 

“Now is the time that you get to decide if you really want to be a Ranger,” I add. 

Jaws tighten as the frigid formation strains to keep their feet grounded at the position of attention. 

“This life is not for everyone. We know that many of you have doubts. If you’re weighing those doubts, feel free to step to the fire.”

Cole Range - Still from 75th Ranger Regiment RASP 1 Video (link below).

Doubt is not inherently bad. Doubt can lead to curiosity and humility in life. But, doubt can kill you and your mates in combat.

Doubt untethered to purpose leads to a lack of commitment. 

Everyone who stands in formation at Cole Range has doubts once the games begin. In some manner of fashion, we all wondered why selection had to be so hard. I got my answer 30 days into a mission deep in the Afghan mountains in 2003 - starved, exhausted, and flea ridden. I understood at that moment why it had to be so hard. The challenge for a Ranger candidate is to identify their own purpose for being there and to hold on to their purpose tightly when the storm sweeps through them. And it will sweep through them.

The storm sweeps through everyone.   

All of us can relate. All of us have faced storms in life - divorce, loss of employment, sickness, rejection, failure, the list goes on. We can all relate to being somewhere we don’t want to be (in life) and straining for where we want to be. A common human fact is that we all have to face adversity at one time or another. 

And we all have to find our purpose to persevere when it gets unbearable. 

I found my purpose while suffering as a young Ranger hopeful. I wanted to be somebody after always feeling like a nobody. I wanted to be a part of something after being left to feel that I was nothing. I wanted to be with the best. I stood in that very formation and found what carried me through the selection. With every drop of rain that sent icicles down my back, every sprint to the woodline, every push up, every ruck march, and every night land navigation course, my resolve strengthened. 

I needed to be an Airborne Ranger. I am an Airborne Ranger. 

Everyone’s reason for suffering through RASP is personal; the fact that everyone who makes it has a reason is universal. And that’s critical for persevering through any crucible. Knowing your why is critical to overcoming the fear and uncertainty brought about by adversity. 

By midnight, the group of men huddling by the fire grew while the formation of Ranger hopefuls shrank. Hope can be crushed when you realize that the pain will not stop. And at Cole Range, the pain does not stop. 

“Hit the woodline, men.” 

The beleaguered men sprint the quarter mile field to the road and back again, gaining momentary reprieve from the cold. Shortly, they are back in formation getting battered by the sleet. The cold wrecks everyone. You learn that in the military. Cold is a powerful equalizer that eliminates partial motivation and false hopes. 

“Again. Woodline. Hit it!” The ragged and gangling mob sloggs to the silent woods that have seen a thousand dreams shattered on that very field. That field that will claim more dreams before dawn. 

Photo credit: @rosiesun via Unsplash.

Back in formation, the men hold on for dear life. We barely look at them and speak casually to those gathered by the fire. “You guys look like you could use some rest,” I say, “open up that box truck and start pulling out sleeping bags.” 

Though the rain is relentless, the men beside the fire’s uniforms are dry. Their eyes stay fixed upon the flames, never daring to glance at the formation on the field. 

No quarter is given at Cole Range; none is given in combat. 

“Again!” Andy shouts. Knees buckle. Tears fall. Men break. 

And it lasts all night.

“Hit the woodline!” 

Bodies drop. 

“Again!” 

Men are trampled.  

“Hit the woodline!”

Hopes are shattered. 

Those who quit file by the truck to collect a meal and a sleeping bag. Those who remain in formation all have a common denominator: purpose. 

Cole Range - Still from 75th Ranger Regiment RASP 1 Video (link below).

Purpose is the tension that emboldens their commitment. Purpose transcends the cold, the discomfort, the anger, the helplessness, and the hopelessness. Purpose is the great separator between those who want to be Rangers and those who have to be Rangers. 

By dawn, the rain slackens as Ed, Andy, and I complete our responsibilities for the shift. We will go home and rest for the next 24 hours. The men in formation will stay, along with a fresh team of Ranger cadre. 

A ray of sunshine pokes a glimmer of hope through the sky while more than sixty Soldiers snooze peacefully by the fire; their minds free from the nightmare on the field, their dreams of becoming Rangers dying with the embers of the fire. 

In formation, the starved, the sleepy, and the battered shiver fifty feet from the fire and one day closer to becoming a Ranger. Never looking upon the fire for a moment, their eyes purposefully fixed upon their goal in the distance.  

Rangering isn’t for everyone. 

What the Rangers know about weeding out the weak is that the only difference between the men in formation and the men at the fire is the willingness to suffer until your purpose is achieved. What the Rangers know about persevering through adversity is that purpose pulls you through when it’s harder than you could have ever imagined. What the Rangers know about adversity is that everyone will face it, eventually, and while adversity changes you forever, adversity never lasts forever. 

RLTW

Brandon

Take a peek into the Ranger Assessment and Selection Program Here:

Cover Photo Credit: @75th Ranger Regiment via Facebook

Getting Everybody on the Same Page (Screen)

There’s been an awful lot written about the numerous advantages and disadvantages of remote work. We’ve read a bunch of it, and we suspect you have too. So rather than bore you with our grand unified theory on distributed work, we thought we might start offering some bite-size, useful ideas that you can take and actually apply to your business. To start, we want to talk about the importance of sharing a common “leadership language” and how that might be the best way for you to start truly aligning your team.

Alignment is kind of our thing at Applied Leadership Partners.

We believe very deeply that while agreement (harmony of opinion) is very nice to have, alignment (harmony of effort) is much more valuable.

Therefore, we spend a great deal of our time working with clients to help them align their teams around everything from brand and strategy to more specific topics like how to effectively have difficult conversations. Over the course of the past few years we’ve witnessed teams make big steps forward by simply taking the time to think hard about what they’re doing, incorporate and reconcile perspectives, and get everybody on the same page.

This is where sharing a common leadership language really helps the cause. As you might imagine we, as leadership development professionals, spend lots of time thinking and talking about all of your favorite leadership buzz terms, like: empowerment, ownership, accountability, empathy, innovation, and so on. To be clear, we like these words and think that they are all great things to strive for. However, what we typically find is that leaders and teams have not taken the time to adequately define and share these important, but somewhat squishy terms. We will often ask questions like, “what do you mean when you say empowerment?” or “what does it look like for someone on your team to actually be accountable?” We generally get a pretty long, vague answer. It’s ok, we get it. Most people don’t feel like they have the time to really dig into this stuff. They have some sense of what these words mean (to them) and use them when/if they seem appropriate.

The problem is that while most leaders have a general understanding of key leadership terms, most teams don’t have a shared or common understanding. Make no mistake, this is a real problem that holds teams back. It is also a huge, and often very efficient OPPORTUNITY to move teams forward. And though it may seem counterintuitive, distributed teams may be able to do this more quickly than those who share the same office. We’ll give you an example.

Screen grab from our presentation with over 200 employees across the country from Freedom Financial Network.

We recently had the privilege to work with the great folks at Freedom Financial Network. They have leaders and teams scattered all over the country, and they wanted to know how they could better empower (there’s that word) their people and get them to work more confidently and independently. Through the power of Zoom, we hosted a one-hour, online workshop with over 200 participants where we provided a simple, clear, and shared understanding of Empowerment and Accountability. We discuss the relationship between these two words, the core components of each, and most importantly, how they could apply the framework to their world.

In less than an hour, we were able to get a large group of leaders completely aligned on this critical concept while retaining 95% of logged in participants (n=195) for the duration of the presentation. That’s both effective and efficient.

I would like to share my appreciation for the great event you led this morning! The topics were relevant, the pacing and delivery style very engaging in a tough zoom environment (where you get no body language, feedback, or affirmation) and your answers to the questions asked were well thought out and impactful - thank you!

- KP, Director, Community Events and Culture, Freedom Financial Network.

Nobody had to get on a plane or stay in a hotel or pay for catering. It simply required an intentional date on the calendar, a Zoom line, and a couple of skilled presenter/ facilitators. We would submit that these kinds of engagements deliver a very attractive return on investment, and are accessible to almost any organization that is serious about leadership.

If we can be helpful to you and your team, we’d love to do that. Contact us and let’s see if we are a good fit for your team. But you can absolutely do this sort of thing on your own. Here’s one way to approach it.

1. Take some time to consider the most important ideas, concepts, or terms that your people need to be aligned on. It could be your strategy or values or priorities or even just a word.

2. Go to your journal or whiteboard or wherever you do your thinking and write down what YOU mean when you use these terms. Then try and write it for an audience. Write it in a way that would allow you to share it. This will really help you to clarify and refine your own thinking.

3. Make the time/space to consistently share this stuff with your team. It could be in an email or a video or a Zoom meeting or whatever medium(s) work for you.

If you can make this investment of time and energy, your team will start to align on the things that really matter and the whole organization will move with much greater confidence. Take advantage of the tools at your disposal and get your crew on the same page. It’s more important now than ever!

A very sincere thank you from us at Freedom. That was an incredible presentation. We’re getting requests already for more, and people are asking where’s the recording!

- Vance Rodgers, Director of Engineering, Enterprise Application, Freedom Financial Network.

Cover photo: @thkelley via Unsplash.

"Breaking Up" Well

Let’s be honest, sometimes it just doesn't work out. 

In our coaching practice we talk to a number of leaders wringing their hands (rightly) about a decision to let a teammate go. Exiting a teammate is hard stuff. But when we’ve had the difficult conversation, tried aligning on a plan, tried the performance improvement plans (PIP), and performance still is not working out, then we must take action.

Failure to remove underperformers decays team culture, confidence, and effectiveness. 

That doesn’t mean it still won’t hurt, but there are a few guiding principles that we have learned that may just help ease the burden. 

First, you can let someone go and still care for (and about) them and be caring towards them. There is no need for a “hatchet man” approach in these circumstances. There is great need for compassion and care.  People are not problems. People are people. People’s performance might be a problem, but people are not problems. Separate the person from the performance and exit the underperformer with care. 

Second, make no mistake about this fact, letting a teammate go has just as much to do with the rest of the team as it does the person who is leaving the team. The team is always watching. 

Our ability to care for the underperformer, while stewarding the team towards effectiveness will show our teammates that you care about both people and performance. “Dropping the hammer” callously will only show that you care about results. Results matter, but we won’t achieve them alone, and people are smart enough to see when they are just a number on your roster instead of a human being on your team. 

Photo Credit: @jasongoodman_youxventures via Unsplash.

Third, recognize and mitigate the risks involved from multiple vantage points. A few risk categories include personal risks, business risks, and team risks.

Though we do not claim to be Human Resources specialists, we are specialists at being human. Any thoughts below should be considered and brought into consultation with your HR and legal counsel. 

• Personal risks: what are the potential negative outcomes to the individual losing their job be they financial, mental, emotional, or physical? Does your organization have programs in place to cover some of these and if not, can you create some type of off ramp that can help the individual? This is where a thoughtful severance package can serve its intended purpose. 

  Additionally, recognize that we spend 75% of our waking hours during the week at work, with our coworkers. This person will immediately lose a natural support structure, which may cause serious mental and emotional disruptions. Consult your HR and benefits teams to understand what options your organization may have to extend benefits for the individual, especially if you know they are at risk. 

  What are you doing to take care of yourself in the midst of this? So many leaders take this stress home with them. While you’re consulting with your HR team on behalf of the employee you are exiting, consider also engaging your employee assistance program (EAP) for yourself. The bottom line is, don’t go it alone - talk to a trusted and confidential resource and address your needs as well. 

• Business risks: What are the real, perceived, and likely risks to your business when you make this separation? Does the individual hold critical knowledge and (if so) how can you gather that information thoughtfully? Does the individual hold critical relationships with partners and (if so) what is your plan to communicate proactively and thoughtfully with those partners? These two questions will make you love a customer relationship management (CRM) approach and software system if you need to use it! 

  Do you have the internal capacity to cover the loss in productivity when you exit the individual? If not, can you contract out a fill-gap in the interim while you hire a replacement? 

  Be careful about the “rip the band-aid off” approach. If you have multiple personnel that need to be exited, consider a phased approach to ensure the business does not suffer. When I was a young Sales Director, we had to exit a number of underperforming sales reps in a district that already had vacant positions. I made the decision to rip the band-aid off, and we didn’t hit our number that year. That was a lesson I learned the hard way once - once! 

• Team risks: What relationships will suffer with the loss of this teammate? Who would you predict will not see eye to eye with you about the removal? Will the team have to take on any distribution of workload? 

  Don’t act like nothing happened. It did. Communication is key. Ensure that you have articulated a very clear and appropriate message to the team to assuage any concerns. The natural reaction when someone is let go is to wonder if you are safe in your job. The best medicine for that is proactive prevention. Having a clear, appropriate, and true message about letting someone go can help other teammates understand that the release has nothing to do with them. 

  Truth is a critical watchword in this process. Far too many times leaders try to massage the message in a way that is either so vague that it makes no intelligible sense, or that it is just flat out deceptive. Deception breeds suspicion. People are smart enough to know when they are being lied to. And vagueness opens the doors of curiosity. We’ve heard it a thousand ways: “we were heading in two different directions,” “he’s decided to step down for personal reasons,” or “she’s exploring others opportunities”. That’s all well and good, and maybe partially true, but it falls flat when someone is here today, and gone tomorrow after a “meeting with the boss”. 

  Confidentiality is also key. Don’t overshare the details of this release. It will hurt you and it will hurt the team. Remember, whenever you talk to someone about someone else, the immediate assumption is that you will also talk to others about that person. We can all thank Dale Carnegie for illuminating this key truth behind the caution to cease gossip. Additionally, there are laws in place to rightly protect the employee and their future employability. Steer clear of oversharing. Stick to your message. 

Photo credit: @jasongoodman_youxventures via Unsplash.

While there are a myriad of HR landmines to avoid in letting someone go, these three simple risk categories can help us keep the team focused on the mission, while making the necessary personnel adjustments to improve effectiveness. 

Two final thoughts warrant mention: ownership and preparation. Regarding ownership, remember at the end of the day this is your decision. Not anybody else’s. We must resist the urge to deflect even if one of our teammates challenges us on the matter. There was a reason we had to make the hard decision and let someone go. We can be honest about how difficult the decision may have been to make; let’s also be honest that we as leaders did in fact make the decision. 

Finally, cover your bases. Know why you’re letting the individual go, how you have endeavored to raise their capacity up, where they’ve faltered, and what operating norms, values, and goals have been missed. Have all of that prepared before you have the difficult conversation, but resist the urge to litigate deficiencies point by point. Nobody wins in those kinds of conversations. 

We’re sorry you have to go through this. We’ve been there and it sucks. Hang in there and be kind to yourself. 

Annual Letter 2021

Dear Friends,

We are excited to share Applied Leadership Partners’ second Annual Letter! Upon starting this journey, we were well aware that partnerships are notoriously difficult, and most small businesses don’t survive to see their second birthday. However, we are happy to report that, while it hasn’t always been easy, our friendship, our partnership, and our business are all thriving. 

Over the course of 2021, we had 25 partner engagements, grew revenue by over 300%, and built some really strong new offerings. And we had a lot of fun doing it. But before we dive too deep into the particulars, let’s talk a little bit about how we got here. 

By the end of 2020, we’d gotten quite busy. Leaders wanted, and benefited from, the work we were doing. To be honest, we began 2021 feeling a bit like the “dog that caught the car”. It’s one thing to chase after a dream, but another to wake up one day and feel like you’re achieving it. 

So what does a dog do when it catches the car? He gets in and goes for the ride, so our theme for 2021 was: Get In! 

We started the year understanding that all of 2020’s problems weren’t going to magically go away with the turning of the calendar. We knew that 2021 would bring its own set of surprises, challenges, and opportunities…and while we couldn’t predict them, we could prepare for them. In January, we gave a keynote address at a large national meeting and stressed that while we cannot have certainty, we can absolutely have confidence - and that earned confidence is attained through our experiences and our preparation. 

In many ways, 2021 was a year of really rolling up our sleeves and digging into the practical aspects of leadership and teamwork. And while concepts like perseverance and sustainability still rang true, our modules around Expectations, Empowerment & Accountability, and Difficult Conversations remained very popular as organizations faced challenges like:

• Returning to the office

• Managing people in a hybrid work environment 

• Changing employee expectations and preferences

• Shifting relationships with customers

• Staff growth amidst opportunities

• Staff reductions amidst challenges

Much of our work in 2021 was focused on alignment. Whether aligning on mission, brand, strategy, or priorities, teams need alignment more than ever. We helped our partners to understand that while we’d love to have agreement (harmony of opinion) on important issues, we can settle for alignment (harmony of effort) to carry us through effectively. Teams gained better alignment through four of our most popular modules and training programs: Difficult Conversations, Brand Alignment Workshops, Empowerment and Accountability, and our Applied Value Creation Training. 

Difficult Conversations

The complexities of people, adversity, and organizational change always brings forth the need for difficult conversations within teams. Many great teams have fallen apart because of their unwillingness to have difficult conversations, and many mediocre teams remain mediocre because they have them poorly. The ability for trust to build between teammates in the midst of difficult conversations cannot be overstated. People grow through sound feedback, thoughtful direction, keen listening, and finally alignment on the way forward. Our module of having difficult conversations has been the most requested and delivered training over 2021. 

Empowerment and Accountability

A number of our partners reached out to explore how to move the words “empowerment” and “accountability” into a way of life and a living breathing part of their cultures. Steeped in our experiences as Soldiers, we shared our vantage point on the critical interplay between authority and responsibility. In this module leaders learned healthy ways to extend ownership throughout the team to generate great success and deal with the ever changing landscape. Many of the teams we worked with had experienced personnel losses, new leadership, and new remote working paradigms and this module was beneficial to setting new processes in place and reinforcing processes that slipped over the course of so much change. 

Brand Alignment Workshops

The theme of alignment blossomed in our Brand Alignment Workshops where we repeatedly found that organizations didn’t need new products and services - they needed a clear and consistent understanding of what they already had and the ability to communicate this for effectiveness. There is nothing more rewarding than witnessing the trust and confidence that teams share when they’re truly aligned. And we got the opportunity to see teams emerge with clear, codified brand messages after playing our full day “game”. 

Every time we delivered this workshop throughout 2021 was a challenge that put us on our toes in a room full of professionals who know their business, and needed a little push top the next hilltop. And every time we left we were exhausted and the feedback was astounding. “You are not going to find very many people who could walk in here and do what Blayne and Brandon just did in one day. Their ability to engage the whole team, guide the discussion, listen thoughtfully, then distill it down into something clear and concise, and finally pitch our brand back to us is unheard of and helps us out significantly. This investment was thoroughly worth it!” - Joe Lebryk, Vice President of Business Development, State Volunteer Mutual Insurance Company (SVMIC). 

Applied Value Creation Business Development Training

We believe that business development is leadership. From our vantage point, leadership is a relational process of influence that yields results. Leadership in a business development context effectively influences the exchange, and creation of value in a way that benefits all parties involved. We took that approach to task after leaving the Army, and refined an approach to professional selling over time that continues to yield excellent results.

Using this approach, we have generated over $200MM in revenue in the last twelve years for the organizations we have served and in our own business. We have turned around a failing business unit to become one of the highest profit centers in a $7B global laboratory business, led a $30MM multi-state/ multi-product sales district, grown a veteran serving nonprofit from concept to $9MM annual revenue, and constructed partnerships with the worlds most iconic brands including Nike, Starbucks, Microsoft, Walmart, and Apple.

This year, we packaged our approach to business development, Applied Value Creation, and delivered it to business development teams hungry to exceed their goals by creating long lasting, value accelerating partnerships with their customers.

Speaking of alignment, there’s nowhere it’s more important than at home and we are blessed to have two families fully behind the Applied Leadership Partners mission. The past year was also filled with a number of exciting developments worth sharing. 

• Brandon continues to pursue his studies at Denver Seminary and is now well over the halfway mark! He works alongside Kelly in the Reengage marriage ministry at their church, and created an amazing event called Proximity: Caring for Those Wounded by War, which helps veterans and community members to understand Moral Injury and the complexities of returning home from war.

• Kelly continued the year on the front lines of the COVID-19 pandemic serving as a nurse in the Emergency Department, and has recently taken a new and exciting role in Interventional Radiology. She continues to serve as a volunteer nurse at Alternatives Pregnancy Center and leads a women’s bible study.  

• Jaden graduated from Army Basic Training and is preparing for his new life as a professional Soldier.

• Elliot decided that four years was too long to be in high school and has ramped up her school work to graduate a year early this May.

• Blayne continues his work with George W. Bush Institute and is leading a project that will bring mental and brain health services to thousands of our nation’s Veterans. He’s also serving as co-chairperson of the Armed Services Arts Partnership, and on the GORUCK board of advisors.

• Jeni made a big shift and completed EMT training and certification in fall. And though she continues to work in the intelligence field, she’s got big plans for helping people to explore the outdoors. 

• Dylan is busy learning to drive, wrestle, and speak Japanese. At 15, he is really starting to come into his own. 

• Dalton dislikes middle school, as we all did. But he continues to impress us with his ability to ride, and perform sick tricks on a skateboard, snowboard, or mountain bike.

• Penny is (mostly) a ray of sunshine and absolutely loves to sing and dance. She knows every word to Disney’s Encanto and has really embraced Kidz Bop!

Do. The. Work.

Looking into 2022, our primary goal is to establish a strong foundation for future growth. In our partner relationships, our content, our systems, and our team we want to continue building something that will last a lifetime. We’re right where we want to be, and now it’s just a matter of DOING THE WORK. With a fully booked Q1 and some long-term partnerships in place throughout the year, we feel like we can start making some investments in our business that will deliver huge value in the coming years. Over the course of 2022, you’ll see us roll out some new offerings, you’ll likely see some new faces joining us on the trail, and yes, we’re finally working on a book! 

To close, we’d just like to offer a massive and sincere thank you to everybody that has made these past two years possible. The trust, encouragement, and support that we’ve experienced has been absolutely amazing, and we will be sure to make good on it.

Hope to see you on the trail,

Blayne and Brandon

Style vs. Standards

I’m fascinated by the difference between style and standards in leadership practice. This week during a coaching session, a leader shared the tension he feels between letting his people do things their way while ensuring that things get done the right way. 

That’s so honest, and something I think that many of us struggle with. 

There’s no hard and fast ruling on this one, but we must always begin with answering “what is right?” for the job in question. If we have empowered our teammates with clear expectations of the job, then we can measure and evaluate the performance indicators in order to reinforce behaviors or refine them. If we haven’t, then a solid resetting of guidance, support, and resources may be in order. 

This in place, how can we make room for different styles, while still upholding agreed upon standards? And how can we look for clues to distinguish between the two? 

We can begin by identifying the non-negotiables in our mission - what must be done in order to be effective? If the teammate is getting the job done effectively, ethically, and in keeping with the prescribed expectations, then let them rock on with their style. 

Leaders may feel a sense of tension if that style is different from their own. We might be a bit uncomfortable watching something done differently than we would do it, but that discomfort is an accepted part of the mantle of leadership. As leaders, we know that the solutions often reside closer to the action, and we must be willing to learn from our people as much as we hope they would be willing to learn from us.  

Even if we used to be in that job, and we had a particular style to execute it. 

Learning something new can be difficult. Learning something new from your employee can feel difficult and awkward. 

Photo Credit: @bernardhermant via Unsplash

When I became a Sales Director for Quest Diagnostics, I had the chance to learn this lesson in the field. I had a teammate who just did things...differently than everyone else. When I joined the company, we were peers, and I observed her approach from afar finding it a bit…odd. She was unique. She did things her own way. And I knew that her way wasn’t my way. 

For example, she would create cheat sheets on word documents for clients that had specific details on them that--though they were correct--did not come packaged and pretty in our corporate generated marketing sheets. And regardless of how many new gizmos, sell sheets, or new products our company launched, she still did the work in her style. And year and after year, she exceeded her goals - ethically and within the limitations of communicated expectations. 

When I became her manager, I was wary about her style with clients and unsure about what to make of her unique training materials. She was a nurse, however, thus medically qualified to speak to these matters in a way that I was not. She had the education and the clinical experience to cut through the fog and get to the heart of what the providers needed, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt and observed - discomfort and all! 

Consistently, she got the job done. And her clients loved her for her unique insights and her superb customer service. 

Though I knew that I wasn’t geared to operate the way that she was, I learned a lot from her while she taught me the difference between style and standards. For that I am grateful. 

But it didn’t come without its routine challenges for me as her leader. Every little deviation from the corporate norm was a tiny little challenge to our system and I had to decide if those differences were ethical, safe, and beneficial. I had to determine if her style was in keeping with my guidance. Sometimes it wasn’t. And to her credit, whenever one of her style deviations was ineffective or questionable, she received the feedback like an adult and she changed her approach like a professional. 

I suspect the trust I gave her to execute things in her style earned the trust I received in return when those adjustments needed to be made. 

Photo Credit: @krewellah87 via Unsplash

But it doesn’t always turn out that way, even when we as the leaders may lack the specific technical or tactical proficiencies that our teammates have for the job at hand. Sometimes teammates hide behind their qualifications instead of using them to achieve or exceed the standards. 

If a teammate is not getting the work done, then we as leaders must intervene. And though we are all unique individuals, at the end of the day, we don’t get paid for our style, we get paid to produce the work. When the mission isn’t getting accomplished we’re not having a conversation about style; we need to have a conversation about performance. 

I recall another teammate that I managed who was empowered to do a job, and was certain about his approach. That person had great experience; he had the degrees and the acumen to back it up. We needed him to monitor and evaluate the critical indicators of the work we were doing. This work informed our community of partners and funders of our progress and illuminated actionable insights for program improvements. The role was mission critical, and his work production consistently missed the mark. 

During routine performance reviews, though his tasks were not hitting benchmarks, he would constantly invoke the style card, asserting his need for empowerment and trust. As leaders we must always remember that accountability is always on the other side of empowerment, and that trust is a two way street. 

We trust our people to do the work, they must trust that we will inspect it. 

After months of missed objectives, and rejected or deflected feedback, I eventually had to let that teammate go. Because when the style isn’t accomplishing the mission, then the style needs to change. And if a teammate is unwilling to see their faults and grow--if a teammate is unwilling to change--then that individual is opting out of the job he or she has signed up for. 

We all take pride in our work, but if we're prideful at work, the team and the work always suffer.

A colleague who refuses to change their approach (though the results remain consistently below expectations) is demonstrating a degree of obstinance that cannot be allowed to persist. Obstinance disrupts teams leading to a breakdown in cohesion, poor performance, and missed objectives. 

We are all people. We all matter. And we all get to choose whether we wish to be on the team we are on, or to be elsewhere. Accordingly, if those obstinate individuals wish to retain their style while failing to achieve the standards, then that person can remain an individual elsewhere while the team moves on without them. 

That’s a choice we all have to make as leaders when we have folks who are holding on to their style at the detriment of the standards. 

There is always space for style in execution, as leaders we have the gift of holding the discomfort of learning from others, along with the tension of ensuring that the standards of the role are achieved. Afterall, a standard that goes unchecked is merely a suggestion. And suggestions are matters of style. And when a teammate is wed to their style in the face of failed execution, it is our responsibility to clarify and correct in order to achieve success. 

And though much can be learned--both ways--nothing replaces the responsibility to achieve the prescribed expectations that our organizations require of us. And sometimes the very best thing we can do for someone is to sit them down and give them permission to take their style elsewhere, especially if we’ve had the difficult conversations and we are getting nowhere. 

Thumbnail photo: @cavespider via Unsplash

Impact vs. Contribution

A lot of talented, driven people wrestle with the notion of Impact. They feel compelled, even obligated to leave their mark, or what Steve Jobs called “make a dent in the Universe.” I think that, for the most part, this comes from a good place. We want to use our gifts to do something that matters. But for many of us, the need to make an impact can have undesirable side-effects. We can alternately feel that our lives and work are too important or totally insignificant. So we’d like to start off 2022 by the offering you a little encouragement and providing a slightly different perspective on Impact. We’d suggest that you might do better, and feel better by thinking of your effort through the lens of Contribution.

Maybe it’s just semantics, but I’ve found this re-frame to be really helpful. It’s a great reminder to take the focus off of myself and put it on others. Instead of thinking about how I am going to go out and impose myself on the world, I consider how I can support the people and causes that I care about. How can I be a positive and meaningful contributor to the work and life of my partner, kids, clients, neighbors, etc.? To do this I have to ask them, and then I have to listen. I don’t need to get them to buy-in to my vision. Rather, I need to try and see things through their eyes. Over the years, we’ve learned that the best way to be significant is to help others achieve their goals.

Another nice thing about contributing is that it doesn’t require you to have any particular role or title. How to effectively lead without authority is a very common topic in our practice and a very real challenge in many organizations. And where we usually recommend people start is with building trust and demonstrating value, or said differently…show that you are committed to contributing to the success of others (or the collective). Doing this will quickly make you a valuable (and valued) person.

Focusing on contribution is also great fo keeping you out of what I call “The Existential Ping Pong Match”. This will be familiar to many of you. It’s the back and fourth between feeling that our work is going to save the world, and that none of it really matters. It’s our difficulty in finding an appropriate balance between arrogance and indifference. But if we just think about how we can contribute, even in so-called small ways, we tend to calm ourselves and simply do the next right thing.

Every major philosophical and spiritual tradition has some version of explaining our universal interconnectedness while reminding us of our relative smallness. They encourage us to embrace that tension, to remember that all of our actions matter, but that none of them change the world on their own. I personally find Don Miguel Ruiz’s “4th Agreement” to be the most useful cue: “Do Your Best”. Those three words are both empowering and freeing. Just do your best. We don’t really know which of our actions are “big” or “small”, so we’re wise to simply do our best. We don’t need to worry about what others are doing or have accomplished. That doesn’t have anything to do with us. We either did our best or we didn’t.

So as you look into 2022 and think about the impact you hope to make, perhaps you could take a moment to shift your perspective and consider how you might make a positive and meaningful contribution to the success of others. Take a few minutes to write down the people and issues that you care about: family, employees, customers, vendors, colleagues, neighbors…and think about how you can do your best to help them. You don’t need to worry about your impact or your legacy…your contributions will take care of that.

The Whole Truth

I spent my entire Army career as one of the “guys on the ground”. It was a charmed path that took me from Tank Platoon Leader to Scout Platoon Leader to Special Forces Detachment Commander, with each successive role moving me closer to my soldiers and further from the flagpole. 

That kind of experience, especially during times of conflict, provides you a certain perspective on things. It gives you an appreciation for nuance and subtlety, for detail and variation, and for the very human aspects of the business of war. There are no abstractions on the ground. 

I found a lot of pride and satisfaction in living out on the tip of the spear, of seeing things up close and personal. It was a big responsibility for a young man and one that I took seriously. It felt like the work we were doing was all that really mattered. We were the ones in the fight. We bore all of the physical risk. Of course we knew the truth about what these wars were all about, because we were on the ground - and to a combat soldier, there is no truth except the Ground Truth. 

The problem, I would discover, is that the Ground Truth is not the Whole Truth.

I first started to notice this in 2004 when I was in Iraq. As a Brigade Reconnaissance Team (BRT) platoon leader I would regularly work with the brigade’s various battalions, each assigned their own Baghdad neighborhood as battle space. And I was often stunned to realize that while they all knew their areas very well, these large, sophisticated units didn’t seem to have much of an idea of what was going on just one neighborhood over, much less across the entire city or region. It was almost as if they were all fighting their own little wars, all contained within some imaginary lines that we drew on the map. I remember thinking (and probably uttering semi-respectfully), “you know that the enemy doesn’t give a damn about these battalion boundaries, right?” Way back then, I could see the limitations of the ground truth, but my youth and hubris kept me from really learning the lesson.

About ten years later, I found myself leading an awesome nonprofit organization called Team Red, White, Blue (RWB). With over 150,000 members and chapters in over 200 cities, Team RWB was all about the ground game. Our mission was to deliver local, consistent, and inclusive opportunities for Veterans to engage with their communities in positive ways. Every single week, Team RWB chapters hosted thousands of run groups, workouts, and community projects. And almost all of that was led by volunteers. These leaders knew their communities, understood the Veteran landscape, and cared deeply about their members. Their passion was undeniable and their energy was inspiring. We were crushing it. All we had to do was keep our focus on the ground and the rest would take care of itself, right?

If only it were that easy. As we’d quickly learn, small things don’t become big by accident - and as powerful as inspiration can be, it probably won’t help you make next month’s payroll. We became acutely aware of this in the spring of 2014 when, through a series of missteps, oversights, and bad breaks we almost ran out of cash and crashed our big boat of awesomeness right into the rocks! It was time to shift our focus a bit. We had to figure out a way to balance the creativity and initiative of our local chapters with more sustainable financial and operational practices. If we didn’t, the whole thing was going to fail.

So sometimes, as much as we preferred high-fives and atta-boys, we had to be the bad cop. At times we were the brand police and had to say, “we’re sorry but you cannot make custom t-shirts in pink”. Sometimes we had to be the finance police and would say, “we’re sorry but we can’t double your chapter’s budget even though the local Chevy dealer donated $10,000”. As you may imagine, none of this went over particularly well. We got a lot of pushback from hard working volunteers that were making things happen. From the staff’s perspective, we were just trying to keep the Team RWB freight train on the rails, but from the chapter’s perspective, we were putting up roadblocks. As more and more of these conversations were happening, we became concerned that the staff could go from being a source of inspiration to a wet blanket. Finally, I heard the magic words - “you guys don’t know what’s going on ON THE GROUND!”

My response: What?! How dare you! I’m a ground guy! For God’s sake, I lead my local chapter!

If there was a problem it certainly wasn’t that I didn’t appreciate what was going on at the ground level. If anything, it was that THEY didn’t appreciate what was going on at the strategic level. THEY didn’t understand all of the things we had to manage to keep the organization healthy. THEY couldn’t see the bigger picture.

And who’s fault was that? MINE.

That’s right, while I had a good (but not full) understanding of the ground truth, I had failed to consistently communicate the broad truth. It turned out that things like strategic vision and national partnerships really matter to the folks on the ground, and understanding their implications helps local leaders to make good decisions and move confidently forward.

From that point on, we started making big changes. We became much more transparent. We communicated proactively. We included key volunteer leaders on all reports to the board of directors. We started regional leadership summits, where chapter leaders would come together to share successes and challenges - and the staff would have the opportunity to share what was happening at the regional and national level. There was no more local business or national business, just leader business. And we were no longer simply pulling information from the chapters, then pushing information back. We were engaged in an ongoing dialogue. 

When we started doing this, we discovered that there weren’t different versions of the truth, just different perspectives. In order to be truly successful, we had to stop debating whose truth was more true. Rather, we simply had to combine our various perspectives to paint a fuller, clearer picture of our situation. 

Big, collective endeavors require us to dig into the details and really appreciate how decisions affect the lives of those closest to the problems. They also require us to zoom out, see the bigger picture and recognize the broader implications of local action. Most importantly, they require us to stop believing that any of us have a monopoly on the truth. We need to start listening with the intent to understand, speaking with the intent to inform, and cooperating with the intent to improve.   

And that’s the whole truth.

Blindspots - Pride is the Enemy of Growth

In the Rangers and the Green Berets, every class cycle conducts something called Peer Evaluations, “Peers,” for short. This process is an opportunity to lift the curtain that the cadre cannot see behind and offer insights into all the candidates' real behaviors—what they do when no one is watching. 

You learn a lot about character in the barracks, at chow distribution, weapons cleaning, or during other monotonous tasks. During Peers, you learn that someone is always watching. Every candidate gets feedback, but the peer review process culminates in listing the bottom three members of the squad based on their patterns of poor performance, or (potentially) poor character. 

These are the guys that you wouldn’t want to go to war with. 

Being told that your peers wouldn’t want to go to war with you is a hard pill to swallow while serving in the armed forces; essentially, your comrades have just told you that you are not up to the standard—and it hurts. 

But sometimes it’s the medicine you need most; especially if your heart beats for service and your pride is keeping you from your next big breakthrough. 

As a former cadre for the Ranger Indoctrination Program (now RASP) and the Pre-Ranger (school) program at the 75th Ranger Regiment, I’ve seen Peers go down many times, and I’ve counseled at least a hundred young Rangers and Ranger hopefuls who’ve ranked in the bottom three—“peered out” by their mates.

The common denominator among those who took that feedback well was humility. Their commitment to excellence and growth—and to their team—superseded their personal feelings, and they changed their behavior. The common denominator for those who responded poorly to feedback was pride; their attachment to self, and commitment to individualism, clouded their ability to correct their own blindspots. 

Those blindspots are where we will fall the hardest—especially if we are too proud to accept correction—and this is why being called an “individual” is an insult in the Army. Individuals rely only upon themselves, while teammates rely on each other. Rangers have no use for individuals, and cadre have no time for counseling those who dig their heels in. 

I am convinced that pride keeps us shackled to our deficiencies, while humility allows us the freedom to grow. Pride is the enemy of growth. 

Ranger School, Malvesti Field Photo credit DVIDS

In the Ranger Regiment, we required Rangers to read their peer reports directly to their comrades; we did this because the process of feedback is about competence, not compatibility, and the objective in high performing teams is collegiality—not likability. Whether you like another Ranger (or colleague) or not is entirely irrelevant; when you’re part of a team, the only matters in question are performance and character. 

During Peers, we required the men to provide the observed issue, a discussion about the details involved, and a recommendation of how the Ranger needed to improve. This ensured that Peers remained an opportunity solely for constructive criticism, not destructive gossip—and we looked for patterns, not isolated incidents. Hence, the bottom three candidates were indicated by the number of peers who identified the same issue.  

After Peers, the young Rangers are offered the chance to course correct and are dismissed if unwilling. This is where pride or humility are exposed in glaring fashion. The humble change and grow into great Rangers. The prideful don’t and find themselves elsewhere, typically with a story about how they got “screwed” in RASP or Ranger School. 

Having been on the giving end of this one way conversation more times than I can recall, I’d like to share a peek behind the curtain on one of those short counseling sessions. Though direct and hard in some cases, perhaps there’s a word in here some of us need to hear—especially if we’ve received feedback that we don’t like, and are digging our heels in.

• “The Window and The Mirror” - This model has been used across many different leadership approaches and is a staple in the US Army Special Operations community. Simply stated, when someone receives criticism there are two common responses - either they point the finger out at everyone (looking through the window), or they turn the attention back on themselves (the mirror). Always choose the mirror. Instead of firing away at everyone else, take aim at yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and ask, “what can I learn from this? How can I grow through this? Though I may not like what I’ve heard, what part of it may be true? Looking in the mirror is the first act of agency in an otherwise off balance situation.

• “Asshole Math” - If you think someone’s an a-hole, they’re probably an a-hole, but if you think 9 people are a-holes, you’re probably the a-hole. The numbers won’t lie on this. If your team has told you the problems they observed and your response is to dismiss them, then that is a you problem. If you find yourself rationalizing with, “they just don’t like me, they are jealous of me, they all conspired against me...” maybe you’re the problem. Do the math.

• Seek Responsibility and Take Responsibility for your Actions - this is drilled into every single Ranger from day one. Heeding constructive criticism is a chance to take responsibility for your actions and your faults—and to take ownership of your growth and your future.

• Put Down Your Shield and Pick Up Your Pencil - It’s natural, you perceive that you just got “attacked” and you feel the need to defend yourself. Don’t. Instead of picking up your shield, pick up your pencil and start taking notes; ask questions to better understand what your team is trying to tell you. Far too many people walk through life with blindspots because we have lost the art of sharing difficult feedback with each other—try to receive the criticism as a gift.

• Stop Making Excuses - You can excuse yourself from growth your entire life, but litigating every point of improvement that someone gives you is foolish and counterproductive. Keep making excuses if you want to stay stuck where you are, or accept feedback with class if you want to grow. The choice is yours. 

• Grow Up - Just grow up. Don’t pout like a child, grow like a professional. All professionals ascribe to a set of qualifications, expectations, norms, and guidelines specific to their field. If you’ve been called out of line on any one of those matters, then fix it. Period. 

Photo Credit: @zacharykadolph via Unsplash

It’s been a long time since I’ve sat with a young Ranger who’s been peered out, but seeing professionals react to difficult feedback is quite common in the marketplace. As it turns out, a prideful reaction to having our blindspots exposed is a universally human experience. No one--regardless of relationship, sector, or level of professional tenure--is immune. 

And though I never got “peered out” myself, I certainly received some harsh feedback from my Ranger Buddies while I was going through training because I was a “drone,” meaning I fell asleep - a lot. Standing up, on a knee, during a patrol, lying in the prone…you name it, I did it. I was so bad that one night my Ranger Buddy, Chris, took me by the ears, sat me down on my ruck, and said, “Brandon, I love you, but if you don’t sit down and go to sleep while I dig this fighting position, I will punch you in the mouth.”

He was direct. And it was appropriate. I had fallen asleep three times while organizing our fighting position, hitting Chris in the face with my weapon, a dummy rocket launcher, and my digging tool. I thought I could drive on through it, and that my droning wasn’t that bad. But I was blind to the severity and how much it hurt my team. Chris helped me see clearly. And though I hated being sat down like a child, I had a choice: be proud and fail, or be humble and graduate Ranger School. 

My buddies helped me earn my Ranger Tab. I’d like to think that I helped some of them earn theirs too. Relying on others stung my pride at age 19, but learning to rely on others has blessed my life immeasurably as I’ve matured. 

There are no lone Rangers. 

If today you’ve found yourself on the receiving end of some difficult feedback, before you react, get some space and consider the source and the purpose of that criticism. Re-read some of those quick hits above and consider the possibility that you’ve just had a blindspot exposed. Now you see it. Your teammates already had. 

And though it may hurt, consider that those who fight growth often end up alone with their blindspots. Professionals humbly take correction, regardless of how much it stings, and grow into stronger and better teammates. Because wisdom walks with the humble, the humble never walk alone, and anything worth accomplishing in life is only worth doing together. 

Cover photo: @ante_kante via Unsplash.

The Danger in Keeping Our Options Open

Our world today is full of options. We can choose from 30 different kinds of orange juice, a million shows on Netflix, and virtually limitless ways to spend our time. I suppose that makes us fortunate, and it’s worth acknowledging the incredible abundance that most of us enjoy. But I’m not sure that it is making our lives or our businesses any better. All of these choices come at a cost, and perhaps a much bigger one than you think.  

Because as much as the world is full of options, it is also full of uncertainty. We’re not sure what things will look like in the future, or even how we’ll feel. Often, when faced with so many choices, we simply decide to make no decision at all. We keep our options open. We wait for better information. We wait for the perfect option to show up - or at least for some of them to fall away so that the decision is made for us.  

Big decisions make us nervous because we might not be happy with it tomorrow or next week or next year. What if we chose poorly? What if something better comes along? We are terrified of, and often paralyzed by the idea of giving up our precious optionality. And it’s not because we’re afraid of the option that we DO choose. Our fear is all about what we might miss out on. That’s right, our FOMO is what’s holding us back, because we know that by taking one option, we’re passing on so many others. But here is the thing, we will never be able to do everything. And if we don’t accept that we can’t do everything, we’ll end up doing nothing. 

There is no inherent value in optionality. None. 

All of the value resides within the options themselves, and none of that value is actually captured until an option is exercised...and the optionality goes away. 

It’s only when we choose to invest our time and energy that we can start seeing returns. Compounding is the most powerful force in the universe, but you cannot benefit from its power if you’re not invested. Be it a stock, a business, a skill, or a relationship, time under tension really matters. We can’t just wait for something (or someone) great to come along, we have to choose a path and make it great. 

• What’s the best training plan to help you get strong? The one you follow. 

• Best nutrition plan for maintaining a healthy weight? The one you can stick with.

• Best investment strategy for retirement savings? The one you commit to for 30 years.

• Best school district for your kids? The one you actively participate in. 

You get it.

The danger is not in making the wrong choice, and it’s not in passing up an amazing opportunity. The danger is in failing to commit. We have the power to make almost anything great if we commit to it and take care of it.

We sometimes fool ourselves into thinking that half-stepping or half-assing our way through life’s difficult decisions will protect us from disappointment or heartbreak or looking foolish. We think it won’t hurt so bad if it was only a half-hearted attempt. Right? That’s wrong. Nothing hurts worse than wondering how things might have worked out if we’d only done it wholeheartedly. 

Maybe you’re familiar with the term “plan shopping”? You know, like when a friend invites you to a party and you tell him, “yeah, sounds fun, maybe I’ll stop by”, because not-so-secretly you’re wondering if something better might come along. We’ve all done it. And we all should stop, because in addition to it being inconsiderate, it prevents us from really engaging with the people and activities that make life great. Our obsession with keeping our options open is robbing us of the ability to enjoy and appreciate what we have - which for most of us, is a lot. 

To be clear, I’m not talking about blindly picking a path nor dogmatically sticking to it. We should take some time to identify and consider our options. And we should feel free to change course when things are truly out of whack. What I am saying is that we should make the best decision we can and give it our best shot. Because if you really want to have great options, you should be the kind of person that consistently does your best...right where your feet are. 

Afghanistan Today - Looking Into the Face of Moral Injury

Today is no better than yesterday in Afghanistan. The war is over, and it will only get worse tomorrow.

We are all complicit in this mess we’ve created and we must do better, if not for the good of our Afghan brothers and sisters, then perhaps for the good of the service members who were stuck at an airport, taking casualties, while helplessly sending people to their impending doom outside the gates to freedom. We are no city on a hill in this historical moment. Americans - we are heaping injury upon our service members, our allies, our friends, and our souls when we turn away those who require assistance. We cannot look away. 

The situation is bad. In an era where all Americans are struggling to discern who they can trust for accurate information, I know I can trust former US Army Ranger Jake Denman at Hamid Karzai International Airport (HKIA). Rangers don’t lie to Rangers, and Jake’s been a trusted friend for over 20 years. Amidst the worst conditions he’s seen in 15 combat rotations, Jake shares that young Soldiers and Marines at the gates must look innocent people in the eyes and say, “‘Hey, you can’t come in,’ and it’s like telling the person he’s probably going to die.”

Welcome to the world of moral injury.   

You can hear more directly from Jake broadcasting on Good Morning America from Doha, Qatar.

Retired Air Force Chaplain Dr. Jan McCormick (a leading authority on military chaplaincy) provides a threefold definition of moral injury: (1) The injury (or wound) to the soul experienced as a result of a traumatic event; (2) a disruption in an individual’s confidence and expectations about his/her own moral behavior (or others’ capacity to behave in a just and ethical manner); or (3) the injury or wound in the soul that results when two deeply held ethics (or beliefs) collide and must result in choosing one ethic (or belief) over the other. 

But here’s what you really to know about moral injury: moral injury strongly contributes to suicide and the suicide rate is increasing. Since the onset of the war in Afghanistan and Iraq, there’s been a 100% increase in suicides amongst active military personnel, and the last decade has yielded a 600% increase in veterans seeking treatment from Veterans Affairs Medical Centers for psychological difficulties resulting from military service. More service members died by suicide than by combat in 2013 (one the top 5 bloodiest years in the war in Afghanistan). A common experience across the board is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) exacerbated by guilt and shame, which is closely linked to suicide and suicidal ideation. 

This compounded shame and guilt hangs like millstones around the necks of many veterans, and we hung those millstones on the necks of our service members standing at the gates of HKIA, sentencing innocent people to their inevitable deaths. Thank a Soldier for their service and they will likely tell you, “I’m just doing my job.” Doing your job means following orders. Over the past two weeks, at HKIA, following orders meant barring entry to people, and sending them to the whims of the Taliban. I fear that we are not only sending Afghans, but also American service members and veterans to their deaths. This is not hyperbole, but a fact we must reckon with now before we see it further escalate past its already horrific state of affairs.

Moral injury plagues the veteran and military populations, inflames PTSD,  and is connected to suicide. If there was any mystery about how moral injury occurs before these past two weeks, it seems fair to say that we’ve moved far past wonder and into clarity. We all watched it happen in real time. We can learn all we need to know about moral injury by reading the lips of the US Soldiers saying, “I’m sorry...I’m sorry,” as they turned women and children away at the gates.

We should all be sorry. This entire situation is sorry.

Photo Credit: Coffee or Die Magazine.

This has been a long time coming, I could have told you that in 2003 on my second of four rotations to Afghanistan--all of us Soldiers could have told you that. We stand at the unceremonious end of a botched twenty year war in Afghanistan. A war on terror, which is an emotion, not an enemy.

The ethical double binds that service members have experienced in real life and death situations are resurfacing. Freedom is costly. The cost of American freedom was paid by the sacrifices of military service members. And though that freedom is a birthright for 100% of Americans, the burden to maintain and defend that reality rests squarely on just 8% of the population who have had real skin in the game of America’s wars. The ones who are reprocessing their guilt and shame today as we watch young Soldiers and Marines who were babies in 2001 accrue their own moral burdens to carry.

These fellow citizens surrendered their constitutional rights to submit to the political will of our nation, deploying to unstable lands in support of US policy. Though the politicians command the authority to send our service members, the life long burden falls upon those in uniform to carry long after they take off their camo. But one that can be mitigated by a community of caring supporters, pastoral and spiritual care providers trained to navigate moral injury, and an integrated menu of mental health treatment options. 

Though they will be able to wash the Afghan dust from their uniforms upon return, they will not be able to wash away the guilt of every apology made into the innocent Afghan eyes we have ordered them to turn away.

I am old enough to confess ignorance on many matters of this mess. I concede complexity. I do not believe that a single American policymaker is operating out of malice in their posture towards this withdrawal. I am confident that there is information that I do not have access to, conversations that occurred between world leaders that influenced this decision, and heaps of people at the State Department working in earnest to make this better.

But just because this issue is complex doesn’t mean we cannot do better, that we must do better - right now. For the good of the human beings who were clutching to the outside of planes taking off to freedom; and for the good of the Americans who absorbed every single “I’m sorry” at the gates of HKIA upon all of our behalf. Because though they will be able to wash the Afghan dust from their uniforms upon return, they will not be able to wash away the guilt of every apology made into the Afghan eyes we have ordered them to turn away.

If you are a veteran and need help, please reach out right now:

VA Veterans Crisis Line, America’s Warrior Partnership, GetHeadstrong.org, Cohen Veterans Network, Vets4Warriors

If you are a civilian reach out to a veteran today and care for them - invite a veteran to coffee, to church, on a hike, to lunch, etc. and connect with her/him. Please feel no burden to solve the problem, just care and listen.

If you are a pastoral care provider or a chaplains, stay ready.

If you are a US policy maker, do better.

Cover Photo Credit: Jariko Denman (@laidbackberserker) via Instagram.