Discipline is not a superpower. Discipline is being who we say we are, and doing what we say we are going to do. It’s simple, and it’s hard, but discipline is not a superpower.
This seems to have become a mystery. I recently had someone say to me, “I wish I had the discipline that you do, but I just don’t.” I looked back at him with frustration and said, “discipline is not special or unique to me. I show up and I do the work. Even when I don’t want to and especially when it’s hard. And I miss the mark all the time, but I don’t let myself off the hook when I do...and I don’t give up!” Mystery solved.
To be fair, discipline has become very complicated in a culture that tells us to do what feels good over what is good. We suggest that discipline is good, and that we must reclaim it for effectiveness in life and leadership.
Discipline is saddled with a lot of baggage - and for good reason. Though discipline is both an action and an outcome, we often focus on the former rather than the latter because of the lasting impressions being disciplined leaves. But focusing on the process over the outcome in this sense makes it easy for us to shy away from some of the fruits of discipline such as restraint, consistency, courtesy, and respect.
The very root for discipline in the Hebrew, yasar (יָסַר), or the Greek, paideia (παιδεία) relates to sharp instruction (of a child or follower) - training, chastening, admonishment, or correction. It’s not hard to see why we tend to look away from discipline. I mean, who wants to be corrected, chastened, or admonished? No one does.
But who wants the results of that process? Who wants discipline that yields consistency, restraint, diligence, and excellence? Everybody. Every leader. Every team. And every company. Full stop.
That is the truth, so we need to find a way to embrace discipline in a productive manner. The purpose of discipline has always been (and will always be) to produce virtue - desirable human qualities. We could all use more virtue today. We could all use values based leaders because discipline in practice is the commitment to consistently behave in accordance with our values.
Discipline to our values offers us stability in ambiguity. Discipline to our values offers us resilience in times of trouble. It is discipline that invites us to shrink the world down into one little act of progress when the challenge is far too large to see any way out of at the beginning. If we are going to embrace discipline, we need to start by identifying our values.
We often find that people don’t actually know what their values are, probably because we haven’t taken the time to contemplate and formulate them. This is where communities like the military and religion help greatly, because they’ve already sorted out their values.
It’s not hard to see why integrity is one of Blayne’s core values. Afterall, from the age of 18 through 22 he passed by an Honor Code sign in front of Washington Hall at West Point that reads, “A cadet will not lie, cheat, or steal, or tolerate those who do.” Nor is it hard to discover why faith is one of my core values. Afterall, I am in seminary because of the word that says, “trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5).
Photo Credit: The United States Military Academy at Westpoint
Having a hard time identifying your values is normal. The good news is you don’t have to start at the blunt end of military training or be engaged in an organized religion to have them. Discipline can be developed at any time and identifying your core values is a great place to start because you can’t discipline your actions to your values if you don’t know what values you're aiming for in the first place. A simple exercise can be found on Brene Brown's website, to assist you. This is what we use with our partners. It’s clear, efficient, and applicable.
Here’s another pro-tip for growing discipline: consider a task, project, behavior, or practice that’s been “hanging around” for a while, then ask yourself, “why haven’t I done this?”
This simple exercise can help you determine your work, and why you’re having a hard time engaging in it really.
I revisited this exercise last month because I just flat out do not want to be in grad school anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love my school, I love my program, I love my professors, and I love what God is doing inside of me through this process. I’m just 2 years in and I’m tired of studying, reading, writing, testing, etc. I am especially tired of Greek and especially after three semesters of Hebrew.
But why? Why is my Greek so easy to push to the side of my desk when I know I need to do my work?
It’s not because it’s hard (it is). It’s not because Koine Greek is a dead language (it is). It’s not because I love our work at ALPs so much that I’d rather do that then Greek (I would)! Though all of those are valid reasons, they are not the real reason. I avoid Greek because it exposes my weaknesses, I have gaps and those gaps make me feel insecure. Frankly, I don’t understand the grammatical comparables from Greek to English because I don’t understand English grammar. And that makes me feel dumb.
In English, I can’t readily make sense of an adverb from an adjective without looking them up. In English, I don’t understand what a participle is from an infinitive, or (as a result) what a Greek word should sound like in English based on the verb form. I don’t understand noun case uses like nominative, genitive, accusative, and so on. So I stare at my work, dumbfounded. There is nothing in my brain for the Greek grammatical structures to latch on to, so my very patient and kind professor often has to teach me English…so that I can understand Greek!
And I feel embarrassed. I wonder if I missed something very critical in English class throughout my youth. I wonder if we never covered these seemingly important grammar details in the California education system. I wonder if the multiple traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) I’ve sustained are impeding my ability to grasp the concepts. And I fear that I’m dumb and broken. So it’s easier to walk away and do something else that makes me feel smart and normal.
Perhaps others can relate?
Seth Godin calls this conundrum “The Dip”, in his book that’s subtitled, “A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick)”. Essentially, he notes that we all experience resistance in our efforts and have to choose if we are all in, or need to get out! Being a pretty “all in” guy by nature, I typically just ignore the first part of that statement, but I'm learning that there are a number of “things” that I just don’t need to be doing because they are not my highest and best use. Or because while they are certainly good work, they are not my work.
But this Masters of Divinity that I am two thirds of the way into is my work. I know this. And the reason I know this is because of my faith and my commitment to faith as a value. I have faith that God has placed me at Denver Seminary and I know that facing obstacles, like Greek, are a critical part of my growth.
I know that though I’ve been disciplined in the most extreme sense in the military, I am being disciplined in a different way in seminary. And that this discipline will develop deeper, stronger parts of me that are blossoming in incredible ways already. I have faith that this is true and I have evidence to that end. So even if it takes me longer than others, and even if I have to work twice as hard. Even if I have to raise my hand in class twice as much, and even if I have to ask Kelly to hold me accountable - I keep going.
Because it’s my work to do. And because I have faith in experiencing the fruits of my labor. And because I have discipline.
Yet another night in the books doing my work.
Discipline is simple, and it’s hard - say what you mean; do what you say.
If discipline is a struggle for you, know that you’re not alone and know that discipline (by definition) is not to be done alone. And you can’t build it simply by doing what somebody else does. So, take some time to really think about your values. Then, talk to your spouse or partner, a friend, a mentor, a manager. Find an ally who is for you. And ask them to help you remain accountable to your intentions.
The world is screaming for discipline. Today is the day to get started on or reinvigorate your commitment to your values because discipline is not a superpower.
Cover Photo: @stillnes_in_motion via Unsplash.